Q: A fellow college professor gives wedding and graduation gifts to current and former students. He acknowledges that giving to a current student risks accusations of favoritism, but he feels that there is no risk once a student is no longer in his class. I think even the latter is risky, blurring the boundary between professor and student but might be OK after much time has passed, say two to three years. Agreed? — Tim Peterson, Minneapolis
A: Agreed with an asterisk. Clearly professors should not give presents to current students. Or wash a student’s car. Or swing by the house and do yardwork. While there may be nothing as vulgar as a quid pro quo involved, such gift-giving introduces the faint aroma of favoritism.
Your guideline for former students is better than that of your open-handed colleague. The longer it has been since student and teacher had a professional relationship, the more innocuous is this sort of thing. But here’s the asterisk. As one professor told me: “Faculty members do sometimes have ongoing functions in relation to students besides classroom teaching — deciding if the students deserve honors or a prize, writing recommendations, etc., and even an appearance of favoritism is problematic.”
Q: Another yoga teacher and I are up for promotion to studio manager. For about a year, in violation of the ethics of our particular discipline, he apparently has been dating a student at our studio, though they seem to have reached a healthy balance that does not affect the studio or other students. But if the owner knew about this, my colleague would not get the promotion and might be fired. Should I tell? — Name Withheld, San Francisco
A: Keep it to yourself. You acknowledge that your rival’s conduct has hurt nobody. While he may have a professional obligation to heed this foolish and overreaching rule, you have no obligation to be the yoga sex police. If, as your actions — or inactions — suggest, you believed silence was appropriate during the past year, then it is still appropriate today. All that has changed is your self-interest. You now have a chance to trip up a rival for a promotion, a poor motive for reversing course.
Update: Nobody told the boss. The guy got the promotion. He told his colleagues that he is single, but they think he is still dating her.
Write Randy Cohen at Universal Press Syndicate, 4520 Main St., Kansas City, MO 64111, or ethicist@nytimes.com.
