Gather round, revelers, and witness the high-def twinkle and digital crackle of the video fire. Time once again for the televised yule log. This year, Comcast’s On Demand menu offers multiple versions of the campy roaring scene.
No fireplace? No problem! Entertain friends with the small-screen spectacle with or without holiday music in the background.
Beyond the hearth, visions of winter wonderlands, one shot in Yosemite, another in a picturesque living room, are sure to delight those who aren’t unnerved by the postmodern surrealism of it all.
And if you have a real fire in a real fireplace, playing the prerecorded one in the same room is a hip, hyper-real commentary on it all — without the messy cleanup. Let somebody else worry about the diminished fuel supply.
It’s all available for no charge on Channel 1 On Demand. Go to Top Picks and select “Yule Log” and “More HD” to find six choices. Some have classic holiday music accompaniments, others somewhat more contemporary. The best offers naturalistic crackling and pops.
Talk about mesmerizing — this is more static than “Law & Order.”
Most of the choices run on a 30-minute loop; others, like the Snowman option, stretch to 48 minutes. A program note promises “all the fun of the season without having to go outside!” Sick! A sharp picture of a lovely snowman in red scarf with carrot nose, top hat and pipe delivers the glory of winter in your living room — no melting.
Presumably, by the second drink, you’ve washed away any discomfort from the weird disconnect between witnessing winter reality and wintry TV reality.
Creepy, phony. Absolutely maddening when the fireplace video abruptly cuts off while the log is still engulfed in flames. But for automated pseudo-warmth, prerecorded comfort and digital joy, you can’t do better.
Ho, ho, ho-my-God! The takeover of actual human feeling by the TV machine is nearly complete. Christmas cheer is now literally On Demand.
Nagging question: Are we saving energy and avoiding pollution by playing the cable offerings rather than burning actual trees? Or are we wasting electricity and falling further out of touch with the natural world?
That depends whether you accept naturalistic bytes as a substitute for nature.
“Christmas on Mars.”
For even less traditional, future-cult-status holiday fare, Sundance Channel offers the seriously bizarre “Christmas on Mars,” a sci-fi feature film and psychedelic video experience from the art-rock group the Flaming Lips.
Not your father’s wee-hours Christmas-Eve viewing, “Christmas on Mars” airs Thursday at 1 a.m. locally on Sundance. Current TV has a behind-the-scenes look Thursday at 8:30 p.m.
Once you get beyond a long extra- galactic opening, there’s a fragmented story. Something about a space colony’s first Martian noel and the imminent birth of its first baby.
“If that baby makes it, maybe we’re all going to make it. Or maybe we’re all just trapped inside the belly of a machine. . . .”
“Saturday Night Live’s” Fred Armisen has a supporting role. Seven years in the making, it was filmed mostly in Flaming Lips frontman Wayne Coyne’s Oklahoma backyard.
I’ll say this for it: This film has the rare distinction of scaring my dogs. And they’re exposed to a lot of video.
“Matchless” on NPR.
Finding modern truth in fairy tales, “Wicked” author Gregory Maguire has written an original Christmas tale to be broadcast on National Public Radio.
“Matchless” is a reinterpretation of the Hans Christian Andersen classic “The Little Match Girl.”
Maguire will read the story in its entirety on Thursday on NPR’s “All Things Considered,” 3-7 p.m. on KCFR-90.1 FM. A book is soon to be published; the text is posted at .
Talking about his inspiration, Maguire has said he aimed to retell the story for a new generation with an emphasis on its power to comfort and console.
Seems it’s no longer just a tragic Danish tale. According to NPR, the new version is about “transcendence, the permanence of spirit and the continuity that links the living and the dead.”
Joanne Ostrow: 303-954-1830 or jostrow@denverpost.com
