Dear Abby: Because of the downturn in the economy, I had to close my business.
Let me tell you this — if anyone wants to know who their real friends are, here’s how: Own your own business.
Not one friend or family member has mentioned my business loss, much less offered condolences — and they all know. People have told my husband, who was not part of the business, that they feel sorry for me, but no one will say anything to me about it. I feel like it’s the elephant in the room at gatherings when no one mentions it.
Am I wrong to feel hurt by this? — Depressed in Utah
Dear Depressed: People’s reluctance to bring the subject up is not because they don’t care. It’s more likely that they’re afraid to say the wrong thing and are afraid they’ll make you feel bad if they mention it. Your friends and relatives don’t realize that it’s enough to say, “I heard what happened and I’m sorry,” which would give you a chance to vent or change the subject if you didn’t feel like talking.
With businesses closing and people being laid off in record numbers, it is important that they not feel more isolated than they already do. You may not be able to solve an unlucky friend’s problem, but knowing you care goes a long way.
Dear Abby: My wife says it’s impolite to point at a person or thing when drawing attention to it. We argue about this small matter all the time. Am I wrong in insisting it’s OK? Thanks for your response. — Charles in Missouri
Dear Charles: It is considered bad manners to point at a person because to do so conveys the message that he — or she — is being talked about and possibly made fun of. Pointing at objects is a lazy way of communicating something you should be able to put into words, but it’s nothing to argue about. On a scale of 10, it’s a zero.
Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
