Dear Amy: I have a gripe I’d like to share about rude people.
My sister passed away suddenly in 2003 and I have some of her ashes in a beautiful pendant on a necklace I always wear. I don’t wear it because it’s pretty — though it is — but because it means a lot to me and I like having a piece of her with me.
Recently, I was having lunch with a guy I am romantically interested in when a random woman walked right up to our table and interrupted our conversation to compliment me on my beautiful necklace (which I don’t mind at all).
She then proceeded to ask what it was. I was caught off guard by her intrusion and managed to stumble over a brief explanation: “It holds my sister’s ashes.” I had not told my dining partner about my sister’s death yet, and I certainly didn’t want to raise the topic in this way.
I was baffled by this woman’s gall and upset that she had initiated a conversation that I was not ready for.
My dining partner was very courteous and did not ask for an explanation, though I did offer one.
Please tell your readers to mind their own business. If they want to pay someone a compliment, that’s one thing, but don’t pry. — Doesn’t Talk to Strangers
Dear Strangers: I both empathize and sympathize — but then I need to chastise.
I have had strangers approach me and ask where I get my hair cut and if I’ve ever met Barbara Walters. (I’ve also had strangers tell me I’m trailing a foot-long strip of toilet paper from my shoe.) Sometimes I respond directly and sometimes I say, “I’m enjoying my meal right now but maybe I’ll catch you later.” Queries often follow compliments, so if you respond to one, you should be ready to respond to the other.
This commonplace occurrence has triggered your loss and anger. Surely that isn’t what you intended when designing your beautiful necklace. It would help if you had a response ready for when people compliment or inquire about it. For instance, you can say, “Thank you” responding to a compliment and, “It’s an antique pendant” to a query.
Write Amy at AskAmy@tribune or Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
