Dear Amy: I am a 13-year-old girl. I live in a good household with loving parents. Recently, when my dad’s phone buzzed I picked it up and saw he had a new text message.
My dad does not know much about texting. I opened the message for him and saw that it was from our phone company about the bill.
My mom was already talking with the phone company about this matter, so I deleted the message for him, but as I was flipping through his inbox I noticed two forwarded messages from a number that was not listed as one of his contacts.
Being my curious self, I opened the messages and there was a revealing photo of a famous singer with a message attached to it saying something about the photo being leaked onto the Internet.
My dad does not know much about using text messaging, but it was clear that the message had been opened before.
Seeing it startled me, and I’m wondering if I should tell my mother what I found.
I know it was wrong for me to snoop in his inbox, and that maybe this message was nothing but junk mail, but it still bothers me. — Confused
Dear Confused: You should not be checking your father’s text messages and deleting business messages from his phone.
Now that you’ve done this, you should make sure your father knows you have deleted one message; he might forget to pay his bill or renew the account without this reminder.
Your father might subscribe to news or entertainment websites that send text alerts to his phone — or these texts you saw might be “junk,” as you say.
Either way, if this eats away at you, ask your father (not your mother) about it. After he asks you not to read through or delete texts from his phone, he’ll tell you what’s up.
Dear Amy: My son has been dating a young woman for four years. I have tried to have a good relationship with her, but to no avail. She wants nothing to do with me.
They do things with her family but not with mine. She doesn’t talk to me or come to our home.
It really bothers me. I am concerned that it is not fair to my son, and I worry that if they have children, I would be at a severe disadvantage when it comes to spending time with my grandchildren. — Concerned
Dear Concerned: You might gain some traction if you approach this situation as if you are turning a blank page in a new diary. Start fresh. Invite your son and his girlfriend over to your home — or ask them to attend an outside function with you. Depending on the distance between the two families, you might also try to get to know her family.
You need to closely examine your own behavior to see if there are ways you have contributed to this problem. If you feel you are making the appropriate effort and are still being treated poorly, you should let your son know what your expectations are.
Dear Amy: I agree with “Curious in California,” who doesn’t understand why people flood others with forwarded e-mail.
Every day I have to wade through jokes, alerts, political diatribes and chain letters from people who copied their entire address book.
I have ceased giving my e-mail address to some family members to avoid the inevitable deluge. I wish my husband would adopt the same practice.
He spends most evenings reading these items because he doesn’t have the heart to just delete them. Consequently, we hardly ever have a conversation beyond the dinner table. — Frustrated in Oregon
Dear Frustrated: If your husband would rather read junk e-mail than talk to you, then you two might have a problem that extends beyond the contents of his inbox.
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