Here’s a sure-fire way to reduce your utility bills: Break your meter.
I broke my meter. I didn’t do this on purpose. But if I’d known I would have saved money, I might have.
Apparently, around February of last year, our gas meter got tired of registering our household’s gas consumption and quit. The gas company continued to send a monthly bill, which I continued to pay. The fact that the bill was low, around $11, didn’t register on my meter either. Like most people, when I get a small utility bill, I don’t call the company and volunteer to pay more.
After 12 months, a utility company representative awakes from a coma and calls to say he doesn’t think our meter is working. He’d like someone to take a look. “Sure,” I say. “Look.”
A person comes, checks and sends a letter saying we owe $1,026.02. The letter signs off: “Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience.”
Excuse me? I storm into the kitchen to find my husband. “Can you believe this?”
“We used the energy,” says Dan, Mr. Reasonable.
“How do they know? They’re just guessing.”
“We were living here.”
“If I buy a blouse for $10, and a year later the store realizes there was a typo on the price tag, and the shirt should have cost $100, the store can’t come back a year later for $90!”
“Public utilities aren’t private businesses,” he says. “They don’t have to compete.”
“If this were any other outfit, I’d take my business elsewhere.”
“Well, this outfit can shut off our gas, so pay them.” He was done with the subject, but I wasn’t.
I escalate my attack and call the gas company. I speak to Frances Who Doesn’t Care.
“Why do I have to be penalized because your equipment failed?”
“Would you like to pay the balance over the phone?”
“No, I would not.” I give her my blouse example. “How is this different?”
“As it is,” says Frances Who Doesn’t Care, “we are giving you a discount, because we’ve only billed you for six months, not 12. We’ve based your amount due on your average consumption for the same period over the past two years divided by . . . ”
“Discount!” I interrupt. “You still haven’t explained why I have to pay the price for your mess-up.”
“Half the price.” She’s so calm I decide the company gives its call-center employees tranquilizers and yoga classes. I picture her sitting in the lotus position, eyes closed in mediation, earpiece in. “We can set up a six-month payment plan, during which time we will not charge late fees or penalties.”
The heck you won’t, I feel like saying, but hold back because I like hot water.
The next morning, the same energy company makes front page headlines because the Public Utilities Commission has charged the company a hefty fine for, this will shock you: “failure to meet quality-of-service standards.”
“Listen to this!” I read the article to Mr. Reasonable.
“You’re not going to win.”
“Never mind, I’m calling the PUC!”
“Now you’re wasting your energy and theirs.”
The sympathetic woman at the PUC lets me complain thoroughly while she listens thoroughly, so thoroughly in fact that when she lets me know I have no way around paying this bill, I hardly mind.
She explains: If a utility company underbills, it can go back as far as six months and collect. That’s why the utility didn’t ding me for 12 months.
“That wasn’t out of the kindness of their heart,” she says. “It’s law.” (Regulations vary by state.)
As the justice of this situation sinks in, I realize something more important:
Half the world’s fury could be quickly resolved if angry people could just find one sympathetic person to listen.
Syndicated columnist Marni Jameson is the author of “The House Always Wins” (Da Capo). Contact her through .
The power to complain
Unless you manage to get yourself off the grid, you and I are stuck with companies that provide our gas, electricity, water, phone and cable services. So what recourse do we have when we get bad service? According to Terry Bote, spokesman for the Colorado Public Utilities Commission, every state has a watchdog agency for consumers who believe their utilities have treated them unfairly. Here’s what Bote says consumers should understand and do if they have utility trouble:
If you have a beef with your utility company, first call the company to try to work it out.
If you don’t like your answer, call your PUC. Its role is to protect consumers in markets where no competition exists, and to make sure utilities follow the rules for rates, safety and reliability. If the agency agrees that the utility isn’t handling your complaint properly, it will investigate on your behalf.
Call when you believe the utility has done something unsafe, when you feel you’ve been unfairly charged, or when interruption to your service is prolonged. You may not like what the agency tells you, but you’ll feel better knowing that an objective party has heard your complaint.
What’s the recourse? As a regulatory agency, the PUC can get your bill settled and levy fines for utility non- compliance.
Watch for smart grids. This new home technology lets consumers see how much power they’re using in real time. The feedback will increase awareness of usage, and help consumers avoid unpleasant surprises.
Do your part to conserve, short of breaking your meter.
