Dear Amy: I am the mother of a 4-year-old. Whenever he is playing outside I supervise him.
There are some children who live a few houses away, ages 4 and 6, who are never supervised.
These children are outside all day long and are seldom checked on by a family member. From what I can gather, a 15-year-old sister is generally in charge of the children.
I have allowed the boys to come play with my son, but I find this to be overwhelming. I have never met the mother; I met the dad once.
The children are generally well behaved, but I am uncomfortable with the whole situation. The parents seem to be parenting by allowing the good nature of other parents to watch these kids, all day.
I believe that it is totally irresponsible for these children’s parents to have so little contact with their children and the people who, by default, end up watching their children.
I didn’t sign up to care for two more young children. How should I handle this? — Babysitting in Colorado
Dear Babysitting: You should make an effort to meet the parents of these children. First of all, they are neighbors, and even if they haven’t bothered to meet you, you should introduce yourself.
Be straightforward and let them know that you worry about the kids as they wander around during the day. Tell them that you have gotten to know the youngest children, but feel they aren’t safe because they don’t seem to be supervised when they’re outside.
With summer coming up, you’ll need to handle this definitively and quickly. When the neighbor kids show up, if you don’t feel able to supervise them, say, “I’m sorry, but we can’t play today; you’re going to have to go back home. You really need to wait until you’re invited to come over, OK?” Then walk them back.
Dear Amy: A cousin of my husband’s has announced that she will be getting married in the Bahamas during a four- day cruise leaving from Florida. The bride-to-be told everyone the price of the cruise, the airline flight and the approximate cost of a limo ride to the airport if we all go together. She said whoever wants to go can go, which is fine.
My question is, if we decide to join in, what should we do for a wedding gift? Is a gift expected, or is our expense of being there our gift? — Confused in New England
Dear Confused: The expense you incur to attend a wedding shouldn’t have a bearing on the gift you give to the couple. Wedding gifts are offered as a mark of congratulations, regardless of your travel burdens.
And though some people feel compelled to give gifts proportional to the expense the couple incurs to host the wedding, I don’t agree with this practice. The gift you give should be personal and needn’t be expensive.
A thoughtful gift you could offer that doesn’t cost too much money is a photo album of candid snapshots from the wedding celebration.
This involves some effort, but it is a gift bound to be enjoyed well after the cruise ship pulls into port.
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