Dear Margo: My daughter is 8 years old and probably 4 inches taller than girls her age. She also has large feet. We have lived in Indiana, Michigan and now Wisconsin and still get the rude comments about how tall my daughter is. One neighbor, when he first saw her, said he thought she was 10 or 11, and said it in front of her! I suggested she tell people she likes being tall, but I can see that the remarks bother her. We were at a birthday party and the mother of the birthday girl kept telling me how tall my daughter was and how tall I was, as if we didn’t know. Another woman at this party said, “Wow, you must have a hard time with sizes.” When we lived in Michigan, there were two queen-bee types who went on and on about how tall my daughter was to other women at a school function, which I took as an attempt to make my daughter out to be different. One of them even focused on her feet, her shoe size probably being larger than kids her age. How do I get the rude tall remarks to stop? Any good comebacks so people know they are being rude or out of line? — Tired of Hearing It
Dear Tired: One can never stop rude remarks, and ever was it thus. People always say dumb things without thinking. (I know I have.) As for the height and large feet, that’s how people described Jackie O. I would kill to be tall, but I do understand it’s hard on little girls when they feel “different” from the girls in their class. I would try showing your daughter fashion magazines where most of the models are tall. And since you, yourself, are tall, you can tell her you’ve always regarded it as a plus. Explain that most of the girls will catch up, and her growth spurt may be happening early. As for a comeback, try, “I know that being short is difficult, but I’m sure your daughter will grow.” — Margo, sassily
The departure of desire
Dear Margo: I am a 24-year-old woman, married for three years. I love my husband, and we have two young children. We are pretty happy, though not exceptionally so, but we hardly ever have sex. There is nothing wrong with my husband; actually, he would like it to be every day. I find myself thinking about other men and wondering what it would be like to be “together.” I even think about having affairs, although I don’t think I could bring myself to do it. I think about one day being divorced. I just don’t feel very attracted to him. Before we got married, our sex life was great. After the birth of our first child, it was pretty good again. Then after my second child, it became nonexistent. When we do have sex, I just go along with it so he’ll stop asking for a few days. I feel bad for him and am afraid he might find somebody else to give him satisfaction. I just don’t know what to do. Counseling is an obvious choice, but we have no insurance. I feel like my marriage will end if this does not change. Advice? — No Libido
Dear No: Something has turned you off your husband and you need to find out what it is. First, hunt down the institutions in your area that offer free mental health care. There are also books that deal with your problem, as well as online support groups. Peer counseling can be surprisingly effective. You haven’t been married long enough for sex to be old hat, so something else is going on. (Maybe caring for two little kids?) My feeling is that if it was good once, it can be good again. — Margo, optimistically
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
