Dear Amy: We went away last weekend to our friends’ cabin on the river. We love to sit with our friends on their enormous deck. People lounge, eat, chitchat, etc.
I brought along some simple knitting projects so that I was able to participate in all the conversations, occasionally putting the knitting in my lap in order to have eye contact and be more involved.
I wasn’t working on anything complicated, and it didn’t take any concentration to work on it.
After we got home, my husband told me he thought it was rude of me to knit (while everybody else is doing nothing really but talking and eating or drinking).
I always made myself available to help with setting the table or cooking, so it’s not as though I just knitted and let everybody else do the daily duties around me.
This floored me.
This wasn’t our first visit up there, and the last time we were there we spent so much of our time sitting around and visiting that I was sorry I hadn’t brought my knitting.
Personally, I can’t stand to have idle hands, and it’s not as though I was engrossed in some novel (which would be rude), or constantly checking my phone and sending and receiving text messages. — Knit Wit in California
Dear Knit wit: I don’t think it’s rude to knit in the presence of others. In fact, the world would be a more congenial place if more people laid aside their hand-held devices and picked up some needles and yarn.
Knitting and chitchat seem to go well together, certainly if the knitter is working on something uncomplicated and makes an effort to engage and make eye contact with others.
You don’t mention what about your knitting strikes your husband as rude, but I would ask him.
Dear Amy: I work in a government office. Some of the women dress as if they are going to the grocery store. We have a dress code, but it is pretty much a matter of opinion. Some of the women wear baggy, wrinkled cropped pants with T-shirt-type tops.
The worst is a woman in her 40s who recently had breast implants. She dresses in clothes that seem to come from the junior section of the store. Her tops are low and revealing; at times her bra shows. She has been sent home from work before for dressing inappropriately.
We are going to try to rewrite our dress code to make it more specific. We are unsure of how to address the issue of the woman who thinks outfits she would wear to a dance club are appropriate for the office. — Fed Up
Dear Fed: One of my favorite episodes of TLC’s “What Not to Wear” features a woman whose office attire was better suited for a Vegas showgirl than a 9-to-5 professional. Her office mates nominated her for a makeover.
The supervisor where you work should convey that your office has important work to do. Anyone who dresses so inappropriately that she has to be sent home to change her clothes should have the time spent on this errand deducted from her vacation time.
You don’t mention how the men in your office dress, but I agree that collared shirts, pressed trousers and non- implant-baring outfits should be the minimum standard at a government office.
Dear Amy: A 26-year-old woman who was depressed by her dead-end job wrote to you for advice. After reading her story, I can only respond with Drew Carey’s comment.
Tell “Failure” that there is a support group for her. It’s called “Everybody,” and we meet at the bar every day after work. — Doug
Dear Doug: Drew Carey is my favorite philosopher of the workplace. I’ll just respond by asking you to save me a stool — and make mine a double.
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