You’re standing on a street in downtown Philadelphia. It’s so cold you’re wearing your lemon-face — scrunched, puckery, pained. People are waddling by on the sidewalk huddle-bodied, eyes on feet, trying not to slip.
You look up — you’re the only one who does — and see a giant puce-colored creature looming over the skyline, making smash gestures and angling straight toward the city. Is it your job to yell out a warning?
Yes, assuming you’re feeling OK, of course it is.
Scenario two and three: you’re the only one who knows the Trojan horse is full of armed soldiers, or the only one who notes the emperor is naked and prancing around as if clothed. Should you loudly declare your news?
Yes, and yes indeed.
We have an obligation to speak when we think others are in danger, when we are privy to information that others need but seemingly lack, or when we feel our deep conscience move us.
That being said, there is a lazy-man parlor game making the rounds, and unfortunately it’s masquerading as a means of serious discourse, valid dialogue, real communication.
The game is called Bada Bing! You’re an Idiot! Or, Ta-Da! You’re an Idiot! Or Voila! You’re an Idiot! The name quirks are regional; the game is played the same worldwide.
It goes like this. Someone says or does something that you disagree with, or don’t understand, and you — without any thought whatsoever — crawl up on the nearest detergent box and, preferably at the top of your lungs, declare “YOU’RE AN IDIOT!!”
If you’re good at the game, the declaration is made in a sweeping end-of-discussion, case-closed manner. If you’re really good at it, all other conversations will shut down. This, in fact, is the goal of the game. Skilled players realize that a decree, spit out properly and with the appropriate spittle-heft and vehemence, can cause all, or at least those within saliva shot, to duck for cover. End of discussion.
So, to recap. You disagree with someone — you call them an idiot. You don’t understand a decision someone made — call them an idiot. You lose and someone else wins — they’re an idiot.
You think you’ve won. Except you haven’t.
Those who play the Bada Bing game are simply acting out a grotesque pantomime of buffoonery. They claim their charade card reads “Smarter-than-Thou, Unveiler of Real Truth, Teacher of Lesser-thans, the ONE who Knows.” In fact, they are a finger-snap shy of a full-blown childish tantrum and only doing a good job of acting out a charade card that reads “Loud, mean, rude, caustic, extremist, undignified, weak, frightened and tiresome.”
The more you play the Bada Bing game, the more quickly you find yourself jumping into it the next time something happens that you disagree with. You become more adept at being the first to yell “Dithering fools! Blathering idiots! Blockheads feverish with folly and stupidity!” You grow increasingly smug, closed-minded, furious.
Your anger hurts your elbow joints and your ear lobes, and thus your head pounds. You take that pounding, turn it into a metaphorical hammer, and swing hard at everyone around you, sharing the pain, spreading the impact. You bellow “Take this, and this! Pass it on harder.”
Some people play this game for money. They get paid to disdain what everyone they disagree with does, thinks, says or believes.
Some people play this game to sell books and pack churches and fill radio programming or TV hours. Some people play this game simply because they are afraid the world is going to hell in a handbasket that’s hanging off the crook of the devil’s arm.
Contrary to the assumptions of swollen, blow-fish angry, yelling people, the world is doing pretty well and would do even better if we could all just be a little more thoughtful, employ our innate intelligence a little more frequently, and refuse the black-and-white portrayals of hard issues — especially when such portrayals are used to monger fear and gain power.
Stay away from the Bada Bing! You’re an Idiot! game. And learn to recognize people who play it — they bluster and bully like bad wind. They believe they are powerful, but they aren’t honest; they don’t do the hard work of discussion and discernment. They play games and use trickery to hook you into swallowing their hate-bait. Don’t bite.
E-mail Fort Collins poet and writer Natalie Costanza-Chavez at grace-notes@comcast.net. Read more of her essays at .
