I’m sitting Indian-style on top of my husband’s desk trying to talk seriously, which is difficult in this humbling position.
Besides the desk chair, which Dan’s in, the only other seating in his home office is the even-more-demeaning floor. I’m aiming to fix that.
“You need seating in here,” I say.
“Why? Then people would think they were welcome.
“You need a little sofa.”
“I need a lot of things.”
I’ve intruded into Dan’s inner sanctum to discuss some home improvements. He knows these typically cost money and involve him, so you can imagine how thrilled he is.
“I can solve your seating problem.”
“Your seating problem.”
“We could move the den sofa in here.”
“What would people sit on in the den?”
“The den sofa is too small for the den, but would be perfect here.” I wave my hand to the space opposite his desk.
“We’re not buying a new sofa.”
“I completely agree! I found a used one on Craigslist for just $500.”
“If we have an extra $500 lying around, I’m buying a flat screen for the basement.”
“But the basement isn’t even furnished. We should furnish it, then get the television.”
“If we get the television, it will be furnished.”
I want to scream: Why do women always want furniture while men want flat screens?
I try to stay calm and focus. “Speaking of furnishing . . .”
“You were speaking of furnishing,” Dan says.
“You said that next you were going to build out the wine cellar.”
Calling the small, stone-clad room in the basement a wine cellar is generous; the empty cavern is only a wine cellar in our imagination. Besides wine (which we drink faster than we can buy), the space needs racks, a door and a vintage table, which I’ve been keeping an eye out for. I envision an antique-looking table that can tell stories.
“Again,” he says, “right after I find another $500 lying around.”
Frustrated, I climb off Dan’s desk and go upstairs to figure out how the Craigslist sectional will fit. I tape off the floor, and move out existing furniture. Besides the small sofa, the sectional would also displace my pine desk. I’m attached to this desk, thick planks of pine on four turned legs with one center drawer. Dan bought it for me the Christmas after our second child was born. I’d just sold my time-devouring business to be home with our young children and start a new career as a freelance journalist.
The desk symbolized Dan’s support for my new start, though I suspect if he calculated the financial impact of that move, which he surely has, he harbors regret. But never mind that. The desk and I have met many magazine and newspaper deadlines together, often with toddlers crawling around our legs.
Fast forward. My teenage daughter is looking at me and the blue-taped floor, which together resemble a crime scene.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
“Mapping out where a new used sectional might go.”
“What about the desk?”
“No room,” I say sadly.
“Put it in the wine cellar. You want a table there,” she says, as if that were the most obvious thing in the world.
I look at her, and at the desk, which, now that she mentions it, could be a table. Suddenly, it’s as if all sides of the Rubik’s Cube clicked into place.
“You’re brilliant!” I say, and coax her to help me haul it down to the wine cellar, where it fits perfectly. With a darker stain and some distressing . . . .
I drag Dan in. “Look!” I point to the desk turned tasting table. “Now we don’t have to buy a table.”
“Who said we were buying a table?”
“Plus, by buying that sectional, which is a steal, we score seating for your office and a wine cellar table — for free!”
“By your accounting.” His eyeballs orbit the solar system.
“Just think,” I say, “the solution was right here this whole time.”
“Just think.”
Nothing about this turning-the-tables tale surprises Eron Johnson, owner of Eron Johnson Antiques in Denver. He helps people see furniture in new ways every day.
“Customers often already have what they’re shopping for, but don’t see it,” he says. “Seeing multiple uses for the same object is a fundamental design premise.”
Sometimes that means moving something to a different room. Sometimes that means using it another way. Sometimes, it means both.
Syndicated columnist Marni Jameson is the author of “The House Always Wins” and the forthcoming “House of Havoc,” due out in February. Contact her through .
Second time around
Besides using a desk as a table, here are some other common furniture items that can swing into double duty.
A chest can store blankets at the foot of a bed, or serve as a toy chest, coffee table, end table or seat.
An old stool can be a plant stand.
A tray on an ottoman creates a coffee table.
A picture under glass in a handsome frame can be a serving tray.
A bookcase moved into the kitchen can display crockery and stacks of table linens; in the bathroom, it can house towels and toiletries.
An old wooden ladder can be a magazine or towel rack.
A kitchen table can make a useful center island.
An old door can be a coffee table or a headboard.
Candlesticks, vases or stair balusters can be wired into lamps.
