Jack Frost nipping at your notes. . . .
Memo to Tom Shane: Now you have a friend in the diamond business too. His name is Tiger. . . .
If Mrs. Kobe got eight carats, I’m thinking Elin gets South Africa. . . .
So he wrecked his Escalade at 2:30 in the morning the day after Thanksgiving. Hey, I know times are tough, but Tiger was driving to Wal-Mart for Black Friday just like the rest of us? . . .
Not to add insult to injury, but Tiger, my man, next time you decide to wrap your car around a fire hydrant, drive the darn Buick. . . .
Because, as we all know, Tiger owns a fleet of Buicks. And Jerry Ford had a 1-handicap. . . .
Just wondering: If Tiger stays with his wife will they need a swing coach? . . .
There’s no accounting for taste. How do we know? Because, according to Bill Vizas, as in Bill’s Sports Collectibles on Broadway, the Broncos’ vertically striped retro-socks are the hottest-selling product on the market at $15 a pop. . . .
Must win, baby: The schedule says it’s just another game. The column you’re reading says the Broncos win Sunday at Arrowhead or they miss the playoffs. . . .
Twenty-four touchdown passes and three picks? Apparently, Brett Favre is so old, he’s forgotten how to throw an interception. . . .
OK, so maybe this column isn’t any good. Dan Hawkins says it’s 10 plays away from winning a Pulitzer. . . .
Yep, the 2009 Buffs were 10 plays away from being all the rage. In a related story, the Titanic was 10 ice cubes away from the East Coast. . . .
From the e-mail bag: “What’s the difference between Invesco Field and Folsom Field? At Invesco, the F-bombs come from the sidelines. At Folsom, they come from the stands.” . . .
You want consistency? You can’t handle consistency? But I’m going to give it to you anyway: The Chiefs rank 30th in the Not For Long in offense and 30th in D. . . .
Read it ‘n’ weep, Raider Nation: The Saints’ offense has produced 267 points in the red zone, the Raiduhs 67. . . .
You knew this was coming. The PR barrage promoting Fred McGriff for the Hall of Fame, that is. Hey, makes sense to me. If Tony Perez is in, the Crime Dog has to be in too. . . .
But don’t take my word for it. This is baseball we’re talking about, so let’s go to the numbers. Perez: 9,778 career ABs, 379 homers, 1,652 ribbies, .279. McGriff: 8,757 ABs, 493 homers, 1,550 ribbies, .284. The biggest difference between the two? Crime Dog didn’t play with Pete Rose, Joe Morgan and Johnny Bench. . . .
Hey, even the Vegas wiseguys screw up sometimes. To wit: The Broncos’ preseason over/under win total was 6. They eclipsed that Thanksgiving night in between J-Mac sound bites. . . .
Welcome back to The Association, Allen Iverson. The Sixers reportedly offered A.I. two contracts — $2 million a year or $1 million for every practice he attends. . . .
So Bobby Bowden woke up one day and decided to retire as Florida State’s coach. Kind of like you and I decide to pay our taxes. . . .
The Rockies offered salary arbitration to Jason Marquis and Rafael Betancourt. Which reminds me. No. 8 on my personal bucket list: to be a major-leaguer and lose at arbitration. . . .
News: Notre Dame will not accept a bowl bid after Weis’ firing. Views: You can exhale now, Shreveport. . . .
They say it’s your birthday: A Heisman winner, Jim Plunkett (62); a Hall of Famer, Art Monk (52); a journeyman, Cliff Floyd (37); and a dunking machine, Josh Smith (24).
Jim Armstrong: 303-954-1269 or jmarmstrong@denverpost.com or catch him weekdays from 7-10 a.m. on The Score with Armstrong and Shapiro on Mile High Sports Radio-1510 AM.
Don’t be cruel — Elvis can still make history
So I’m sayin’ there’s a chance.
Last week, there was a mention in this space of Elvis Dumervil, the proud owner of 14 sacks, challenging Michael Strahan’s NFL record of 22 1/2. The reaction from e-mailers and colleagues? Um, I’d tell you, but this is a family newspaper.
Well, I’m sticking to my prediction. Why? Because my man Elvis has three games left against the Raiders and Chiefs. He picks up six or seven in those three games, and he’s right there.
Meanwhile, it just seems like Dumervil is a giant on the field. But he’s all of 5-feet-11. Uh-huh. Standing on his laptop maybe.
How undersized is he for an NFL sack leader? Dumervil on Thanksgiving night found himself in an odd-couple moment with Giants tackle Kareem McKenzie, all 6-6, 327 pounds of him.
“I was talking some trash to McKenzie,” Dumervil said. “I had to look up to talk to him. It made me realize how short I am.”
Five fearless predictions
Baseball will fire up the hot stove next week when the game’s movers and shakers convene in Indianapolis for the winter meetings. So what’s going to go down? Here are five fearless prognostications:
5. Superagent Scott Boras will hold court in the hotel lobby. During his diatribe, he’ll be overheard saying: “Lousy economy? What lousy economy? I just bought my wife and I matching Lam- borghinis for Christmas.”
4. Some free agent will sign a $70 million contract and proclaim that it wasn’t about the money. It was about a chance to win in Kansas City.
3. The Cubs will trade Milton Bradley for another toy company to be named later.
2. Dan O’Dowd will admit he’s shopping Brad Hawpe 10 minutes after the trade is announced.
1. Every GM will leave town a day earlier than expected. Why? Um, what part of Indy in December aren’t we getting?
