Dear Amy: Our grandson recently got married and one Sunday afternoon the newlyweds paid us an unexpected visit.
After visiting for a short while, I thought my wife should have offered them some coffee or tea.
I would like to know who should take the initiative to make an offering.
I feel that the wife (who is the homemaker) should have taken it upon herself (or should have asked me) to make a lunch or something to offer to our guests.
What is the correct way to handle this kind of situation? — Joseph
Dear Joseph: I agree that it would have been most hospitable to offer your guests a beverage. In addition to being welcoming and hospitable, this gesture would have prolonged the visit. There is great comfort in the community of sitting and sipping together.
It is your home, too. You don’t need to wait for your wife to come up with hospitable gestures, even if she is the homemaker.
Mainly, you need to remember that your grandson and his wife came to see you and enjoy your company. Don’t dwell too much on your lapse — after all, you were surprised and thus a little slow on the uptake.
You two could easily fix this by calling the young couple, thanking them for popping by and inviting them for lunch next Sunday.
You’ll have time to prepare, and you’ll have an opportunity to demonstrate to the newlyweds a positive example of how long-married couples interact.
Dear Amy: My friend and I go out quite frequently and have noticed many things that bother us. For instance, we have noticed patrons charging their cellphones using the outlets at the dining establishments. We see cellphones on the floor plugged into outlets and nowhere near the table where the owner is seated. Last weekend at a pancake house, we noticed young women wearing pajama pants as if these are outside clothes.
For some time now, we have seen men enjoying their meals with hats still on their heads. I was under the impression the hat is removed immediately when entering a building, or is this rule based on what type of restaurant it is?
We read your column daily and would like to know what you think. — AMG, Chicago
Dear AMG: I’m trying to figure out how the presence of cellphones charging themselves silently near outlets affects you. If these devices are causing a tripping hazard, then that would be a problem — otherwise, use of the restaurant’s electrical outlets should be the restaurant’s issue.
Young people frequently wear pajama pants when they are out and about — certainly in the morning and often at waffle houses. You may not like this particular “flannelized” version of morning wear, but this is a youthful, casual style that the wearer may someday come to regret but that you should simply accept.
The “remove your hat in a building” rule has relaxed over time. I agree that in a nicer restaurant hats should be removed, but caps (and pajama pants) are de rigueur waffle-house wear.
If other patrons are well-behaved and minding their own business, then you shouldn’t worry too much about what they’re wearing or where they’ve parked their phones.
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