TUCSON — Baseball is a hard sport played by hard men. It is a sport rooted in tradition, governed by unwritten rules of decorum.
Don’t follow them and there will be payback. Baseball players can be mean and vengeful, and even those who are human zucchinis have the memories of an elephant.
Which brings us, of course, to Prince Fielder. He irritated the baseball establishment last September with his home run celebration against the Giants. He pretended to be a bowling ball — hardly a stretch with his physique — and as he stomped on home plate his teammates fell over like pins. It was hilarious.
But not entirely spontaneous — unless Ryan Braun choreographed as the chubby slugger was trotting around the bases. So the Giants got mad. Reliever Bobby Howry called it unacceptable. Retaliation would be swift and fierce.
Or something like that.
When the teams met in spring training last week, Barry Zito plunked Fielder with a curveball that was the equivalent of a bug splattering on a diesel’s windshield.
Zito said the pitch got away. Fielder said if the love tap made the Giants feel better, fine. He was tired of playing the bad guy.
That’s where I have a problem. Respecting the game is important. But what’s so wrong with having fun? When kids play Wiffle ball in the backyard and go yard, do you see them put their head down and run the bases with all the emotion of a monk?
Why hate on the joy?
Listen, if he had done this in the fifth inning, it’s totally different. It was a walkoff blast, the closest thing to a legal drug in baseball. The game was over. He went a little nuts. Was it really that different from Big Papi’s helmet tossing or the mock wedding bouquet toss performed by the Yankees? Walkoffs should be the exception to every rule.
And here’s the other thing that drives me nuts. If you don’t like the celebration, don’t serve up a gopher ball. Let me get this straight: It’s the hitter’s fault he hit your mistake? That’s stupid, if not completely illogical.
Decorum and respect is necessary. MLB is not the WWE.
But when it comes to walkoffs, all bets should be off.
Footnotes.
Scratch my prediction about the Diamondbacks being surprise contenders. After throwing about 82 mph in bullpen sessions, Brandon Webb is likely to start the season on the DL while his shoulder recovers. No Webb, no chance. . . . Give the Giants this: They are a flawed team, but they have two players that I’d pay to watch — Pablo Sando- val and Tim Lincecum, baseball’s odd couple. Sandoval could use Lincecum for dental floss. . . . The glaring reason the Dodgers are overrated? They are putting entirely too much confidence in Vicente Padilla. He’s flaked out at every stop, and yet many people believe his September will translate into a huge season. Good luck with that. Just ask the Rangers, his last employer. . . . Interesting debate: Whose lineup would you rather have: the Phillies’ or Yankees’? With the addition of Placido Polanco, one of baseball’s most unselfish hitters, the Phillies could have Shane Victorino hit seventh or eighth. That’s frightening. He’s way better than the Yankees’ Brett Gardner. . . . Look for Atlanta’s Derek Lowe to rebound this season after overhauling his delivery. . . . This could finally be the year reliever Joel Zumaya returns to dominance for the Tigers. He has been a ghost in a uniform since 2006.
