Dear Margo: My husband and I are in our early 30s. We live in an upscale townhouse community with mostly retirees. A couple in their mid-60s lives across the street and keeps an eye on our house and checks on the dog if we’re out of town. Over the past few months, the husband has given me the creeps — hugging me too long or brushing his hand against my breast at the end of the hug.
Yesterday I was walking back from the mailbox, and the husband stepped out of his front door and called me over. I walked over and said hello, stepping inside the front door but going no further. I thanked him for watching our dog while we were out of town the previous week, and he smiled and hugged me, grazing my breast again. I stepped back from him and told him I needed to get home. He then hugged me again, but this time he cupped my breast and said, “Can I feel you?” I jumped away and turned to leave, but he grabbed my hand and tried to place it over his crotch. I jerked my hand back and raced out the door. As I walked down his driveway, he called out, “Can I have another hug?”
I was shaking and crying by the time I got home and immediately told my husband what happened. Now I don’t know what to do. Should we say something to the man’s wife? We’re moving out of state in two months, and I’m wondering whether we should just say nothing and avoid this couple for the remainder of our time here. — Repulsed in Raleigh
Dear Rep: As I was reading your letter, I thought, well, the old letch is trying to cop a feel. But by the end, I had the idea that the man’s governors were off and he may be in early-stage dementia. Hyper-sexualization is a clue. You’re lucky you’re moving. The only reason I can think of to mention it to his wife is perhaps to suggest he see a neurologist. But there’s always the possibility that she is aware of the situation. Do whatever is comfortable for you. — Margo, regrettably
You’ve Got Mail!
Dear Margo: Please tell me how to deal with “helpful” relatives who forward political e-mails that are not fact-checked, promote fear and spew political hatred. I researched some of these e-mails and found them to be untrue, but when I shared my research with the senders, they argued that the information might be true anyway. My husband says I should just delete these e-mails and ignore them, but I don’t want to see this rubbish every time I open my e-mail. I have already tried asking the senders to not send me these e-mails anymore, but they still do, explaining that they just had to send “this particular e-mail” because they felt I would want to see it. — Exasperated
Dear Ex: I think your husband gave you good advice. If you delete these e-mails from the proselytizers without opening them, you won’t have to look at the nonfactual rants, plus you can avoid being annoyed. In this particular situation, trying to correct misstatements of fact is pointless, because the flat-earth types who will buy into anything that supports their position are not interested in facts. It is just this side of nuts to respond to accurate corrections with the remark that “the information might be true anyway.” To engage with ideologically driven people is a bad idea of the ulcer-inducing variety. As Dwight Eisenhower said of Sen. Joe McCarthy, he wouldn’t “get into a pissing contest with that skunk.” Not that your relatives are skunks, but you get the idea. — Margo, logically
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
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