Milt Mittelstedt has survived a stroke, six heart attacks and years of being smacked around by his kid.
Despite his bruises, the aging dad defends his disabled son, 32, and is struggling to come to terms with who really needs protection.
“He has an illness. I have a hard time hanging him in the town square,” says Mittelstedt, who seems far older than his 62 years.
Shawn was 3 when he swallowed cough drops that blocked his airway and caused a severe brain injury. He since has had seizures and been diagnosed with developmental delays, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and depression. He spent years in and out of mental hospitals, group programs and host homes, always returning to his parents’ place in Aurora when they complained the system wasn’t caring for him as well as they do.
Social workers and health-care providers said the family thwarted his treatment.
It’s a sick cycle.
Hundreds of times, doctors tweaked prescriptions. And hundreds of times, Milt and Peg Mittelstedt complained that his meds were so off-balance that he would drool like a zombie or seethe with rage.
Once, Shawn smashed through a double-paned picture window in anger and was undaunted by the shards of glass that had shredded his body.
“The software in his brain doesn’t allow him to function normally, and the medical professionals never, ever seem to fix it,” says Milt, a retired electronics tech who is used to fixing things.
One day in January, Shawn was spiraling out of control when he pinched the family’s dog. Peg asked him to stop. Shawn grabbed his mom’s arm and pulled with all of his 280 pounds. Milt — who is half his son’s weight — told him to back off. Shawn lunged at him until his dad pulled his revolver and told him to sit on the floor. Instead, Shawn lumbered out the door and started attacking his mom until police came and arrested him.
He remains locked in a mental hospital waiting for a court to determine whether he is competent to stand trial on his felony assault charge.
Given his 46 police contacts and bouts of violence, it is unlikely he will go home again.
“Clearly, a more long-term solution is needed, if one can be found,” says District Attorney Carol Chambers, whose office is prosecuting the case.
Given authorities’ pattern of failing him, Shawn’s parents say, they worry he will be warehoused, wrongly medicated and left to vegetate. All for the sake of their safety.
“Shawn is getting grabbed up by the system,” Milt says. “I’ve heard a lot of bull from these people, a lot of twisted words and half-truths about their so-called desire to protect me. I’m not asking to be protected. I’m asking for help for my son.”
No parent dreams of getting pummeled by his kid or brandishing a gun in self-defense.
Loving Shawn, Milt says, has meant advocating for him and hoping some new pill or doctor would cure him. Caring for him, he adds, has meant pulling him out of programs when necessary and sometimes taking his punches.
It is easier to fault doctors and social workers than fault your wife for leaving cough drops on the coffee table. And it’s easier to curse the prosecutor than admit, in his words, sometimes you “hate” the child you love.
“He’s the same at age 32 as he was at 22 and he was at 12. And to be blunt, we’re getting tired and old. This has kicked our (expletive) for 29 years. It’s a horrible waste of a person’s life, anybody’s life,” says Milt, for whom it’s easier to see his kid than himself as a victim.
Susan Greene writes Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Reach her at 303-954-1989 or greene@denverpost.com.
