Ronald McDonald is a child abuser! That’s the latest delusion of those nannyist, busybody scolds at the so-called Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI), now threatening to sue McDonald’s if the fast-food chain doesn’t immediately desist in luring kids to their “un-nutritious” Happy Meals by bribing them with toys. Mickey D’s offending promotion features Shrek-themed figures bundled with Big Macs, Chicken McNuggets and fries. Oh, the humanity!
In its sinister letter, CSPI berates McDonald’s for seducing little kiddies with trinkets, inciting them to demand that their mommies and daddies deliver them unto to the dietary hell of the Golden Arches. CSPI brands this as “pester power.” How ironic. I can’t think of a bigger pest than CSPI itself.
Commonly described by the leftstream media in reverential terms such as “non-profit watchdog” or “consumer advocacy group,” CSPI is a Naderite offshoot with roots in the early ’70s. Critics refer to it, unflatteringly, as the “food police.” Some of its crusades have included attacks on ice cream, popcorn, potato chips and soda pop. You can only imagine what it thinks of cotton candy.
The sanctimony and arrogance of this group is reflected in its very name. Who gave these people the right to define and speak for the “public interest”? I’m part of the public and I have a different view of that interest. Personal responsibility — including parental responsibility — and consumer choice is the greater issue here. This is the kind of liberal mentality the Isaacs had in mind when they wrote their 1983 book, “The Coercive Utopians.” There’s nothing inherently harmful about eating at McDonald’s as long as, like anything else, it isn’t done to excess.
I feel sorry for the kid whose father runs CSPI if he takes him to a baseball game or the circus. “No hot dogs, Johnny. Eat your tofu and spinach.”
In CSPI’s press release, its litigation director, Stephen Gardener, hysterically characterizes McDonald’s as a pedophile, “the stranger in the playground handing out candy to children . . . making parents’ job nearly impossible.” Nearly impossible? Any parent who can’t manage this challenge has much greater problems. And McDonald’s isn’t giving their toys away. You have to buy the Happy Meals to get them. Unless your 5-year-old is independently wealthy and driving his own Mercedes to the mall, the money and transportation is coming from mommy and daddy.
Naderites have an instinctive animus for private enterprise and its evil spawn, advertising. If CSPI successfully bends McDonald’s to its will, others that use toys in their marketing, like breakfast cereals and Cracker Jack, will surely be next. (Although the quality of Cracker Jack toys has significantly declined over the years. Now, they’re just boring paper foldouts. When I was a kid, they had serious prizes. I once found a 1957 Chevy in my box — full size.) Then they’ll come for the Good Humor Man, the Pied Piper of ice cream, driving slowly through your neighborhood with his hypnotic bells. Ultimately, what child can be safe in his bed while Santa Claus remains at large?
But CSPI nannyists and their ilk aren’t content to just raise your children. They don’t like your lifestyle, either. You eat fatty foods, drink, smoke, don’t exercise enough and refuse to pay attention to nutrition labels on boxes and containers.
You might think this is a consequence of a free society. Uh-uh. When their dream of government-provided universal health care is fully realized, your unhealthy choices will impose costs on society, and that will be their justification for controlling much more of your life. Paternalistic bureaucrats will prescribe your diet, ban “junk food,” and vices. Cigarettes, booze and Snickers bars will be relegated to the black market. And your mandatory morning exercise class will be led by Big Brother from your two-way viewscreen.
Mike Rosen’s radio show airs weekdays from 9 a.m. to noon on 850-KOA.
