ORLANDO, Fla. — When a mom and dad angrily cornered a Disney World employee — who somehow maintained a sincerely cheerful and sympathetic smile — to confront him about why their little girl hadn’t seen a character yet, I raised my eyebrows.
When my sister texted to tell me that she was watching a pregnant woman with a beer in her hand reprimanding her small children at Epcot, I winced.
When a family of five raced past us to cut in line at the Tower of Terror at Disney’s Hollywood Studios — with the parents actually shoving the kids along, snapping at them to hurry up — I laughed.
But when my daughters and I stared, horrified, at Cosmic Ray’s Starlight Cafe in the Magic Kingdom as a mother picked up her 10-year-old son by the shoulders from their lunch table, shoved him into a seat against the wall so hard his sneaker came off, and yelled, “Stay there,” causing him to weep uncontrollably, I admit it: I started to cry, too.
I couldn’t help it. This was Day 4 of witnessing some pretty childish adult behavior.
I don’t blame Disney World. Having traveled the real world and been lucky enough to experience some of the most exclusive places it has to offer, I’d be hard-pressed to name a more accommodating, hardworking, tourist-oriented place with a friendlier staff — not to mention anywhere cleaner.
A family vacation at Disney World is expensive, though, and when you combine that with limited time, high expectations and the stresses of being together 2 4/7 in small spaces, long lines, unbearable humidity and sensory overload, you’re looking at one Mickey Mouse of a pressure cooker.
Not to mention that guidebooks and annoying travel writers like me keep telling you that you can do it all, if you just race around like a crazy person hoarding FastPasses and come up with an itinerary that looks like a blueprint for a counteroffensive.
Don’t buy into it.
Simple agenda
Our own vacation goal was simple: My daughters and I wanted to spend some fun time with my sister, her husband and their sons, Nickolas, 12, and Donovan, 8, as well as my father and his wife. They all live in Pennsylvania, so we don’t get to see them very often.
They decided to drive to save money, while we flew and met them there. Next decision: Where to stay? My dad and his wife like to have quiet time in the afternoon, so we picked Saratoga Springs Resort & Spa (see Room Report, Page 2T) — which would have a money-saving full kitchen — for those of us with kids, while the grandparents would go with a nearby hotel where they could escape our chaos.
Because we were flying and they were driving, it made sense — and added to the savings — for them to bring groceries that we would split for. We came up with a menu and shopping lists ahead and coordinated their driving times with our flight. We also devised a preliminary plan of what everyone wanted to do. For instance, the grandparents weren’t interested in the parks, so they would explore Orlando and visit friends during our time there.
The planning was the toughest part. My daughters are well into their teens, and they’ve been to Disney World multiple times. Their cousins were interested in different rides and experiences. Meanwhile, my sister and I have back and neck issues that limit our riding abilities. Mostly, we wanted to eat.
In the end, we found that knowing which park we wanted to visit each day and what rides everyone wanted to hit but staying flexible — allowing the kids to tell us when they were tired and needed to call it quits at a park, made a big difference in everyone’s mental state.
In addition, prioritizing our lists to get to everyone’s “must-dos” first and then deciding everything else would be gravy, as well as keeping in mind that we couldn’t do it all in one trip, made for a relatively relaxing and stress-free vacation for the whole group.
The best part was, there was no yelling — and except for my little tantrum about the boy at the Magic Kingdom, nobody cried.
Kyle Wagner: 303-954-1599, travel@denverpost.com,
