Q: I am becoming weary of being around people who constantly talk about food and diet. Unfortunately, many are dear friends, so I must tolerate their relentless focus on food. But this saps so much enjoyment out of dining and socializing that I find myself getting angry at the constant negativity around just plain eating. Please help me get the word out on how NOT to diet! — Alison Knorr, Newark, N.J.
A: Americans are hugely overweight. Sixty- eight percent of us over age 20 are classified as either overweight or obese, which accounts for the $40 billion weight-loss industry.
With so much money spent on weight loss, why do more than 90 percent regain the weight after three years? Because humans want a quick fix and “microwave” results, regardless of lifestyle choices that may have contributed to the problem in the first place. As a consequence, we are highly susceptible to every promise, pledge and guarantee we see or hear about that “gets the weight off and fast.” Unfortunately, the “weight loss” is usually from the wallet, not the waistline.
What works in the long term are daily exercise (adding weight training to the routine is a good idea to increase metabolically active muscle), portion control, keeping a food diary, support from friends and going at it slowly. Being focused on “healthy” rather than “skinny” can take away a lot of the stress.
After all, there are no “bad” foods that must be banished forever; they just might be items that are enjoyed in smaller portions or on special occasions. Organizations like Weight Watchers are helpful for coming to terms with both food and lifestyle issues like these.
People who make the choice to educate themselves on what constitutes good nutrition and struggle to adhere to a sensible diet should be supported and encouraged, but dieters can fall into the trap of hyper-vigilance by judging, analyzing and dissecting everything edible. It is easy to get caught up in the regimen and constantly comment on food (and friends eating the food) with supercilious authority. However, saying things like “I can’t believe you are going to eat all that,” or “We are really going to have to exercise a lot after dinner to work off this food” and “I can’t eat the food you prepared because I eat foods only that are below 55 on the glycemic index” can definitely grind on human relationships.
It can be difficult being around someone steeped in diet mode who constantly judges every morsel of food at dinner, a social event or family gathering. This is particularly uncomfortable when their comments on quantity and composition seem to be a judgment directed not only at themselves but also to others in the vicinity. Food obsession, where someone continually focuses on items consumed or about to be consumed, goes beyond being just annoying. It can feed into or aggravate psychologically negative self-talk around body image and self-esteem.
It is possible to enjoy people’s company and choose foods and portions without condemning the choices available or stressing out the host. On the flip side — for those in the group who are not dieting — anyone who politely refuses to try a certain food, go back for seconds, have dessert, or fill their plate to the max should not be pressured into doing so. When in a social situation, focus on the friends rather than the food.
Linda J. Buch is a certified fitness trainer in Denver; linda@ljbalance.com.
