Dear Amy: Recently, I made an offhand comment about my housekeeper to a friend at work.
I thought I had mentioned to her the fact that I employ a housekeeper, but apparently I had not. She was quite surprised.
This is now the eighth day since I told her, and every day she has made a snide “joke” about my having a maid.
For example, if I mention that I have to do a menial task, she’ll say, “Why don’t you just have your maid do it?”
Amy, I have more discretionary income than she does simply because I am single with no children and live fairly frugally.
She, on the other hand, is struggling financially with an unemployed husband, three kids and an ex-husband who pays no child support.
I could kick myself for having mentioned the housekeeper at all, and I am getting tired of the snarky comments.
I asked her not to mention my housekeeper anymore. So far she hasn’t, but now she’s making general comments about my finances, like about how “loaded” I am.
How do I convey my annoyance and get her to stop without losing her as a friend? — Not a Rich Girl
Dear Not: Your work friend’s choice to razz you repeatedly about your relative wealth is akin to your teasing her about having too many kids (when you have none). After that first glorious chuckle, it’s just not that funny anymore.
You are employing someone, and whatever that says about your desire not to clean up after yourself, in this economy it’s not such a bad thing to provide someone else with some earned income.
From now on, you can meet her comments with … nothing. Just let it lie. And then say, “Anyway, moving on.”
Dear Amy: I am clean and quiet and try to be a good neighbor in my one-bedroom condominium. My question is how to handle a neighbor who is a control freak and wanted me to cancel my daily paper because of the slight thump it makes when it lands on the mat.
I asked the paper carrier to be as quiet as possible, but my neighbor can’t stand the slightest noise, such as the sound of my door opening. It’s just ridiculous!
What do you think of this? How can I handle it? — Nearly Noiseless Neighbor
Dear Noiseless: Your building should have a manager somewhere. If you believe this neighbor’s continuing issue with you is unreasonable (as I do), you should mention it to the building manager and ask for his or her advice about how to handle it.
The building manager probably knows this woman and may have suggestions.
You have taken reasonable steps to mitigate or muffle any incidental noise.
If you lead a nearly noiseless life and she continues to bug you about noise, you should tell her you’ve done your best and now she should contact management with her issues.
Dear Amy: You ran a letter from “Perplexed,” complaining that his dates spent their time out with him talking about their exes.
You responded by echoing his view that people need to leave their exes at home.
I thought I’d mention my experience.
On my first date with the woman who would become my wife of almost 20 years, I was a complete idiot and went on for literally hours about my then-most-recent ex-girlfriend and how crazy she made me.
Having exhausted that subject, I then proceeded to relate my entire dating history.
I recently told this story to my 16-year-old daughter and 13-year-old son, and both agreed that they’re lucky they were ever born given what a moron their father was.
Mostly, we’re all just lucky that my wife saw something worthwhile in me. — Equally Perplexed, Very Happy
Dear Happy: It just goes to show you — some people can see the charm beneath the smarm.
I congratulate you and your wife for choosing so well.
Write to askamy@tribune.com or Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
