If you thought things were a little too cozy at the state Capitol, a little too Hickenlooperish, a little too we-really-can-all-get-along, a little too boring, well, welcome back.
It’s redistricting time, meaning — as we relearn every 10 years — Democrats and Republicans still can’t stand each other. That’s hardly news, of course.
But this year, we have a twist: Republicans can’t seem to stand Republicans, either (or at least one Republican state representative, anyway). It’s a start.
We need some excitement at the statehouse. This isn’t Texas, where the anti-government governor is fighting fires by calling for three days of prayer. And it’s not Arizona, where they pass a law requiring presidential candidates to show proof of citizenship, such as, yes, their circumcision certificates — an idea so absurd that the governor had to veto it.
All we have in Colorado is a dream deferred. The dream was that five Democrats and five Republicans could tour the state, listen to the concerns of the people, hold a host of hearings, and come together, in the end, with a map that everyone could agree to.
OK, it was a little too idealistic. It was sort of like expecting J.R. Smith to pass the ball.
And so, the five Republicans and five Democrats toured the state, listened to the concerns of the people, held a host of hearings and came back with approximately nothing — unless you count the 11 different maps offered up at hearings that were supposed to end with a plan, but ended instead with the usual acrimony.
And when I asked one Republican why they needed five different maps, it was explained to me that it was because the Democrats had six.
You see what I mean?
The thing is, this was the perfect year for the legislature to actually come through. Each party controls one house, meaning there had to be a compromise. The governor wants to sign a bill and is happy to be seen as a compromiser. There are no new districts this year, making it relatively easy to draw the lines. We have seven districts, and we’re a 4-3 state now. And though the districts could use more competitiveness, it’s likely that we’d remain a 4-3 state — favoring one party or the other — with the lines just where they are.
If there’s no plan — and that’s now the way to bet — it goes back to the judge again, just as it does every 10 years in Colorado and democracy fails again.
So, what went wrong?
Here’s where the fun part comes in. The Republicans made David Balmer — who has suffered, uh, controversies as a lawmaker now in two different states — as the co-chair of the consensus-seeking redistricting committee. It seems that what Balmer did was, against all reason, take the role seriously and try to actually come up with a semi-workable plan.
This apparently panicked his Republican teammates. And Republican House Speaker Frank McNulty did what you’d expect him to do — he threw Balmer off the bus. It could have been worse. He could have — like Scott McInnis did to Rolly Fischer — thrown him under the bus.
When it came time to present maps on Tuesday, the Republicans hung posters of three McNulty maps and neither of Balmer’s two maps. It was a surprise, and not just to the Democrats.
According to Sen. Rollie Heath, the Democratic chair of the committee, Balmer whispered to Heath about the McNulty maps, “I have no idea what they are.”
This is completely believable. Balmer drew his own maps on his own laptop with his own software. He knows the lines so well, precinct by precinct, that he even came up with a few restaurant suggestions for me. (OK, I already knew there were Mexican restaurants in Northwest Denver, but still you had to like the effort.)
By the way, Balmer — now the hero of the piece — begged to present his plan to The Post’s editorial board. McNulty came in a day later with the Republican plan. The Democrats, with Heath and Morgan Carroll, gave the Democratic plan, which, despite what you’ve heard, isn’t quite as strange as it seems — even with Democratic effort to split the West Slope and make the 3rd an all South-Colorado district while sticking Grand Junction in with Boulder in a redrawn 2nd District.
It apparently has to do with water basins and trying to keep Aurora mostly intact and drawing competitive districts and, I’m sure, trying to get the competitive advantage.
But when McNulty was asked about his plan,he had no details, no water basins, no restaurant suggestions. He said all the Republican plans were fine, but couldn’t — or wouldn’t — tell me the differences between his maps and Balmer’s.
Carroll said McNulty was trying for a 5-2 Republican advantage, and that it was easy to infer that he was troubled by Balmer’s willingness to see the advantage of competitive districts.
“Even he was surprised when McNulty came from wherever,” Carroll said of Balmer. “That’s where I think it took a different turn. I don’t think Balmer had the authority to work with us anymore. . . . Balmer suddenly got leashed in.”
When ace Post reporter Lynn Bartels asked McNulty about how Balmer got left out in the cold, he said, “I don’t know why people are trying to paint this huge divide. David’s doing a really good job. He’s not a lone wolf.”
Yeah, well, maybe. But as they say in the redistricting business, tell it to the judge.
E-mail Mike Littwin at mlittwin@denverpost.com.
