Dear Margo: I have an odd question. I am self-trained to read tarot cards. I believe they have helped me become more intuitive, but mostly I find that the symbols help me think through problems logically and present possible solutions. Those beliefs aside, I’ve started to offer my readings as a business, and I always make sure my clients know I’m offering them as “entertainment only,” even if I personally strive to also provide helpful, practical and friendly advice — kind of like someone we both know.
Well, ever since I started offering readings to the public as a business, I’ve turned down several opportunities from people who seemed to be — I don’t know how else to put it — “disturbed.” One individual claimed to be hearing the voice of Satan, and another was telling me how much he wanted to die because his girlfriend left him. I was alarmed by these contacts and felt helpless, knowing that neither I nor my cards could address their underlying difficulties.
Is there any free or inexpensive training program I could take to help redirect them? Something like the kind of training people who volunteer to work for crisis hotlines might receive? — Entertainer, not Psychiatrist
Dear Ent: I suppose I will hear from all the tarot card readers, but I agree that what you do is entertainment. Your concern for disturbed people is admirable. You have one of two choices, as I see it. You can save your readings for parties and actually train to become one of the many types of counselors, or when you get a client who seems genuinely troubled, you might say, “I am not equipped, through my cards, to deal with your problem, and I suggest you seek a mental health professional.” This advice may be defensively received, but that is not your problem. — Margo, beneficially
Having a Family Should Not Be a Taboo Subject When Dating
Dear Margo: I’ve been dating a wonderful man for nine months. We enjoy a variety of activities and generally have a lot of fun together. However, as I approach my 31st birthday, I find myself thinking in terms of the big picture. I’ve always thought I would like to have children, but I would prefer not to have them close to my 40s. Although my boyfriend has never specifically stated that he does or does not want children, we have some differences — approaches to managing money, for one, and I like to travel, while he does not.
I have been in a few serious relationships in the past, but he has only had one previous partner, and from what little bits he has told me, it ended very badly. To date, he has not been able to say the “L” word, and from what I understand, this may be a lingering effect of his past relationship. I’m not sure what to do. I feel ready to start thinking about settling down and having children in the near future, but I have no idea whether my boyfriend will be at that point anytime soon. Should I “go with the flow” for now and enjoy what we have, or discuss my thoughts? Maybe he’ll never get to the same page. — Stuck
Dear Stuck: I have a hunch your fella is suffering from the burns of his previous (and only) love affair. I also think the absence of discussion about children is odd. Why don’t you ask him what his thoughts are? As for your differences (i.e., money and travel), those are pretty major items when considering making a life together — presuming you are not the only one doing the considering. My instinct tells me this man would be a reclamation project, but the only way to find out is to TALK. — Margo, investigatively
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
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