Betr Lat Thn Nevr
Dear Margo:
Two years post-divorce, I have been trying to date again. A nice man I have much in common with told me in October that he’d like to get to know me better, but nothing has come of it. Instead, he spends hours texting without trying to set up any sort of a date, sends inappropriate texts for the level of
relationship we have, refuses to reveal his schedule or anything else that might aid in our dating — or in getting to know each other at all, for that
matter.
After four months of waiting, I feel that I should just move on. It seems that texting is the only relationship he has to offer. This is so sad. Can
anything here be saved?
— Sick of Texts
Dear Sick: Maybe your dignity. Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. I am guessing that when this man “told” you he wanted to get to know you
better, it was online. All he has to offer is texting. I would not be surprised if this time-wasting crackpot is a teenage boy or some random filbert who
gets his jollies playing this sort of game. Too bad there seems to be four months down the tubes, but I will not linger too long on the length of time it
took you to (dare I say it?) wake up and smell the coffee. — Margo, correctively
Being Related Does Not Guarantee Cordiality
Dear Margo: My dilemma involves my three siblings. I am the youngest and have a brother and two sisters, whom I’ll refer to as “A” and “B.” Sister
A is an alcoholic. While none of us are close, we manage to attend holiday gatherings and remain cordial.
All this changed when my mother died in 2006. During the time she lived with me during her last year, sister A visited twice, and the other two
sibs never visited until Mom was dying. When she died, she left her house to the four of us.
Sister A moved in with her husband, a good man who had cancer and died within months. The house was trashed and full of her belongings, and it took a
while before she was completely moved out, in 2008.
My cousin was named executrix of Mom’s estate, and she too was in declining physical and mental health, although we did not know this for another year.
She neglected Mom’s estate, and sister A began a verbal and legal campaign against her. I chose not to join in this, which made her angry with me.
When my cousin died, I was named executrix. I kept in touch with my siblings about estate matters by e-mail, and sister A got the other two sibs on board
and turned them against me, writing vitriolic e-mails to me voicing suspicions about the money involved, misuse of funds, etc. — all untrue. When I could no
longer stand this, I turned the estate over to my brother.
As of today, the house is still on the market. Thousands of dollars have gone to paying taxes and bills, and there is no more money in the estate. There
has been no criticism of my brother regarding the estate. So here’s my dilemma: Should I make any effort to communicate with three siblings who have never
shown the slightest interest in me? I love them all, yet I feel unloved. — Youngest Sibling
Dear Young:
I think if I had three sibs who had “never shown the slightest interest in me,” I would probably turn into one of those people
who makes her friends her family. The level of dysfunction is high, so I would accept the situation for what it is: lousy. — Margo, yieldingly
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of
e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
COPYRIGHT 2011 MARGO HOWARD
DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
