Conversation Interruptus
Dear Margo: Is it ever OK to interrupt someone while they’re talking? I admittedly interrupt people when I’m
excited to share, so I’m not sure if I’m the best judge. My boyfriend, however, never interrupts. It’s a quality I admire in him, but I disagree with his
stance that it’s never OK. Tonight, for instance, I got a call from the cable company. As soon as the operator started in with a spiel about upgrading my
plan, I interrupted her to say, “Thank you, but I’m not interested. Have a good night.” She said, “Thank you,” and the phone call ended politely. My
boyfriend thinks it was rude to stop her since she was just doing her job.
Another example: If I repeat a story to my boyfriend that he’s
already heard, he feels it would be rude — and thinks I would get angry (I wouldn’t) — if he were to interrupt me and say, “I know, that’s great, you told
me about that.” He’s also unwilling to even say “uh-huh” or “wow” while I’m talking. Who’s right? Is it OK to interrupt? — Differing on Conversational
Styles
Dear Diff: My dear, what your fella calls “interrupting” most people call “conversation.” Another phrase for it is “give and take.”
Oftentimes, a “wow” or an “uh-huh” is a social signal that the person with you is alive and listening; that is not considered interrupting. I will say this:
He is certainly kind and generous to let telemarketers go through their whole spiel on the phone. Most people do not do that, yours truly included.
I think perhaps a way into this little disagreement is to invite him to tell you — at the moment he knows you are recycling a story — that you have
already told him. As for redoing his total approach to interrupting, I suspect that cannot be done. — Margo, understandingly
When the Path
of Least Resistance Is the One To Take
Dear Margo: I recently got married to a great guy who happens to be the younger brother of one of
my dearest friends, “Donna”. She is a doll, and I’ve seen her get taken advantage of many times in the past. On the other hand, my husband’s elder sister,
“Edie,” has a history of selfishness and destruction. She, her ex-con husband and their two chaotic children were all living in the basement of Donna’s house
for several months without contributing a dime. They moved out just before Christmas and left behind several hundred dollars’ worth of damage and a few
personal items, including a collection of Mary Kay products still in the original packaging.
My mother, my husband and I were at Donna’s house on
Christmas Day, talking with her fiance (and co-owner of the house) about Edie’s behavior, when my mother said she really liked the Mary Kay products Edie had
left. Impulsively, I offered to buy the products from Donna’s fiance. He accepted gratefully, and we all agreed that this was the best way to make up for a
bad situation.
Now, of course, Edie is making a fuss about the missing cosmetics, and Donna is upset and wants me to return the items and refund my
money. Besides the fact that I gave all the products to my mother and sister, which means they’ve been opened and are unsellable, I don’t think I should have
to return them. What do you think I should do? — Roswell, Ga.
Dear Ros: I suppose you could tell her to take a hike and consider the cosmetics a partial payment for the damage, but why prolong the agony? Return the items, opened and used, and end the discussion. I’m sure your mother and sister will agree it’s a small price to pay for peace and quiet. — Margo, sensibly
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be
answered.
COPYRIGHT 2011 MARGO HOWARD
DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
