President Barack Obama has toiled through a harrowing few years, and his days and nights are not likely to turn serene when he turns 50 today.
But hang on, Mr. President.
The cliche suggests that the milestone birthday marks the first tiptoe into the Age of Crankiness, the dawn of a stretch of life infused with complaints, impatience and nostalgia for lost youth.
But research shows that the birthday, in fact, often tees up an era of heightened contentment and happiness.
Instead of spending the next few decades increasingly awash in crabby, Obama may be entering a season rich with balance and fortitude.
“Fifty is the turning point,” said Arthur Stone, author of a recent study that found people begin to be more satisfied with their lives after they hit the half-century mark. The study reported that people are most happy in their 20s and in their 70s and older. They are least satisfied during the middle of their lives. At 50, though, their outlook on life begin to improve.
Among other things, after people turn 50 they “care less about superficial things,” said Stone, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral science at the State University of New York at Stony Brook.
At 50, they have learned to jettison activities, thoughts and people who fill them with stress, and have gained enough confidence to understand and pursue the things that give them pleasure.
“I don’t get hung up about things that I used to when I was 25,” said Hilary Osborne, 50, who lives in Centennial. “With that wisdom comes establishing your character and moral fabric. At 25, you are so worried about offending people. You don’t want to stand out. But I don’t mind standing out now.”
Osborne, who moved to Colorado a year ago with her husband and two sons, said the change has been difficult. Her husband, who had been laid off in Michigan, received a job offer in Colorado.
“We are in an apartment for who knows how long. We can’t sell our house (in Michigan). We’re learning to accept things we can’t change, whether we like them or not.”
For many people, health problems begin appearing during the 50s. Aging parents grow sick or die. Children, now grown, face tough adult problems. Lost jobs can be difficult to replace.
On the positive side, happiness prospects are strong for 50-plus women, says Suzanne Braun Levine, the author of “Inventing the Rest of Our Lives.”
For women today, “liberated from so many of the role-defined responsibilities of the past, it just makes the whole horizon so much wider,” says Levine. “The idea of speaking up and making people angry and speaking out regardless of the consequences — this is a tremendous departure from the way women in earlier generations were raised.”
Age of new beginnings
The two decades between 50 and 70 are potentially transformative as people ask themselves what they will do for the rest of their lives.
“It’s very much like adolescence,” she said. “The hormonal upheaval, the self-questioning, the self-esteem issues, the ‘what is happening to my body?’ issues, ‘what am I going to do when I grow up?’ issues.
Is 50 the center of middle age? The first step into senior citizenhood? Levine, who regularly interviews people in their 50s and older, said it varies. She had her children in her 40s; in her 50s, she still was a mother with young children. She did not feel remotely “senior” in her 50s.
“I have friends who have grandchildren, and that freaks me out,” said Gail deVore, 50, who lives in Denver. “Grandkids? Oh my God. I’m too young to have grandchildren. There is that disconnect with people my age.”
The 50s, though, do often come with fresh doses of soul-searching.
For Broomfield resident Brian McKinnon, 50, it meant questioning his career.
“Thirty years is a lot of years in one industry,” said McKinnon, who has worked in telecommunications for 30 years. When his company was bought by another, he thought he should take the severance offer and try something new.
“It would be easier to change jobs at 50 than 55,” he said. “I do think as you get older, a little bit of age discrimination does filter in. But this is what I’ve done for 30 years. I can’t go off and be a shoe salesman.”
Beauty of experience
A similar thought occurred to Kim Leszczynski, 50, a graphic designer in Loveland. She dedicated her professional life to ad agencies but has worked as a freelancer for a few years. She sometimes thinks about looking for a full-time job but hesitates.
“They might think they have to pay me more because of my experience,” she said. “Or I’m not hip enough.”
The beauty is, she doesn’t care. She chalks it up to her age. “I’m being brave enough to ask for what I deserve,” she said. “I’ve got over 30 years experience. That’s worth something.”
Earlier in her life, with her master’s degree in database management and years of experience in the field, deVore would have hyperventilated at the thought of working part time, painting houses, just earning enough to make ends meet. But that’s what she’s doing now. She’s happy with it.
“I’m having fun,” said the Denverite. “I’m in a band. I’m a fiddle player with Rocky Mountain Jewgrass. It’s sort of, I don’t have the hang-ups I had when I was younger.”
Sitting uncomfortably with all of the blossoming confidence that often comes with 50 is the body. The smile that now triggers lines across the face. The belly that seems to grow, even when it’s not being fed.
It’s the one topic, said Levine, where most 50-somethings roll their eyes and sigh.
“The other day I was making a dodge out of the rain, and I wasn’t wearing my running shoes, I was wearing flip-flops, and I was thinking, ‘Since when did my legs start feeling like they weighed twice as much?’ ” said Osborne. “I just notice myself slowing down, and I don’t like it. I don’t remember things like I used to.”
She added: “I don’t feel like I used to, but I don’t feel that old, either. When do I start to feel old?”
Douglas Brown: 303-954-1395 or djbrown@denverpost.com
