Former Gov. Bill Ritter’s eulogy as prepared for today’s funeral of philanthropist Noel Cunningham, owner of Strings restaurant:
It is fitting that Noel Cunningham lived the last quarter of a century here in Denver, Colorado. On a clear day you can see Pikes Peak, Mount Evans and Longs Peak, all from the Denver area, and all over fourteen thousand feet tall. It is fair to say, without exaggeration, that Noel himself, was a mountain of a man.
I have been asked to provide a short eulogy for Noel, and I consider it both a great privilege, but a significant challenge, to do Noel justice in these few minutes this morning. Thank you, Tammy, for this honor.
You simply cannot recapture Noel’s life by a conventional chronological recounting of his biography. To develop a real sense for Noel it is far better to describe his many characteristics or to talk about events in his life that inspired us, and that were truly extraordinary.
I was asked by a reporter after Noel’s untimely death if I thought he was a “saint”. I chuckled and said, “No, he was not a saint. He had saintly characteristics, but he was certainly not a saint.”
So who was Noel Cunningham? I believe he was the most persistent but selfless person I have ever met. In a phrase, Noel seemed to give himself entirely over to doing spectacular work in the service to others. Notice I didn’t use the biblical notion of “good works”. I instead chose “spectacular works”. Because for Noel, giving meant two things. If it was worth doing, it was worth doing excellently. And, if you were his friend, you were bound to be drawn into the endeavor.
Noel threw himself, and all of us, into charitable work around the world. Jim Monaghan said that Noel’s giving knew no bounds, and that is absolutely correct whether it was the issue concerned — poverty, child abuse, health care, education, homelessness – or the place concerned. Noel’s work has made a real difference in the lives of the people in Denver, in Colorado, in the USA, but also in places as far reaching as Ethiopia, Eritrea, Zimbabwe and Mexico. I am not talking here about just making a small difference. We are talking instead about serious efforts to fundraise for schools, health care clinics, hospitals, playgrounds and so many more projects it seems incredible in the telling. But, it is not.
Noel and Tammy’s efforts to build programs at Yetabon in Ethiopia through Project Mercy would alone be enough to count them among the great philanthropists. But you look at the list of other efforts – Share our Strength and Taste of the Nation, Safe House, Toys for Tots, Volunteers of America, Quarters for Kids, the Hope Bracelet project – and you just begin to get a sense for Noel and Tammy’s charitable work. This year’s Unconditional Love Dinner was yet another example of Noel devoting so much of his energy to raising over one half a million dollars to support an orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Rick Hodes, in Addis Ababa, and to bring Prudence from Zimbabwe for surgery at Children’s Hospital. Noel’s dream was for Prudence to sing Amazing Grace for the President. The Vice President was the beneficiary of Prudence’s beautiful voice, but for Noel, that still left the dream undone.
I met Noel through Tammy when Tammy and I served on Project PAVE’s board together. We approached Noel with an idea for the Secret Chef’s Dinner, hoping that people would pay to cook with Noel. We began it in 1994 and it was a dramatic success. Noel continued to sponsor it, and to participate in it EVERY year since. My son August returned from living and volunteering in Mexico at a home for boys in 2010. He told Noel about the home, and Noel’s response was the expected: Let’s raise money for it, and let’s not think small!
I know so many of you have your own stories like this, too many to count, and collectively, they serve to explain who Noel Cunningham was at his very core. Imagine the countless stories in this chapel alone which could be told about Noel’s generosity.
Mark Twain once wrote a novel called “The Prince and the Pauper”. If it was about Noel, it would be more like, “The President and the Probationer”. Noel entertained President Clinton, President Kagami of Rwanda, Vice President Gore, Senators, Ambassadors, international dignitaries and the list goes on and on. But the Noel we all knew devoted every bit as much attention to those who lived at the margin. He had a young staffer, a young unwed mother, who was on Probation for a felony. This man that hosted some of the world’s most notable people became personally involved in turning this young woman’s life completely around. And again, that is only one story, one anecdote. His caring and his kindness were not reserved for the powerful and the wealthy. His caring and his kindness also knew no bounds. There was an uncommon humility in how Noel interacted with all people, regardless of station.
Yes, he was a humble man, in all his dealings, but he was not beyond lecturing people in powerful stations. And here Geography mattered as well. If Noel needed to just catch up, that was done at the entrance or the bar at Strings. If you needed a lecture, that would happen at a back table. But if what you really needed was an old fashion Irish ass-chewing, that happened in one of those back rooms, always beginning “With all due respect,” and always ending with, “You know I love you buddy”, but those were just bookends to the world according to Noel.
Still, I went to see Noel, for the same reason most of us did. It was actually described by Billy Shore in his book, The Cathedral Within, when he wrote about Noel: “Being with him, no matter how briefly, will make me better than I was before.”
Noel nourished us in many ways, but first by actually feeding us. He began his culinary training in a kitchen in Dublin, when he left home at age 14. It is no surprise with his commitment to excellence that by age 23 Noel was the youngest sous chef at the famous Savoy Hotel in London. He was tapped to move to Beverly Hills and was chef at a private supper club for a time. He came to Denver then, and opened three restaurants over his career. Strings, which became synonymous with Noel, has been in business for 25 years now — an eternity in the restaurant business! Just ask any banker you know.
But Strings Restaurant was about so much more than food. It was truly a place of spiritual and emotional healing as well. Count the number of times you listened to people Noel and Tammy brought in who were, like the two of them, devoted in service to others.
Strings was also about the staff. As much as any place I have ever dined there was a special relationship between Noel and his staff. One blog post by a staffer said that Noel was a mentor, a motivator and a role model. Noel saw his relationship with his staff that way. He inspired them to be the very best they could be. He could not have been the easiest person to work for, because he demanded the best of everyone around him. But the staff of Strings was like a family to Noel and he loved them and cared for them deeply.
Noel also understood, in a very profound was, how important it is to involve young people in all we do. I think sometimes about the ripple effect people have in the world. When someone acts, how that one act behaves like a ripple on calm water, and continues to move people or events way beyond our line of sight. That is what led Noel and Tammy to develop Quarters for Kids, it inspired them to take high school students with them to Ethiopia, it is why they developed this special relationship with DECA, a student organization for tomorrow’s leaders, and it is why Noel spent time and energy with individual kids, young men and women – counseling, motivating, inspiring – because Noel and Tammy understood that their work, their service to others, must be carried on, and young men and women whom they have worked with or impacted will have that ripple effect. I have four children, and each of them were separately but profoundly impacted by Noel Cunningham. I cannot imagine the number of kids similarly situated, and the number of good things that will happen in the lives of others, around the globe, going forward, because Noel Cunningham cared and gave so deeply.
Today we are joined by members of Noel’s family, including Noel’s sister, Gaye, from Ireland, and his brother Desmond, from Scotland. We thank you for joining us, and we share your sorrow at the loss of your brother.
We are also joined by Noel’s twin daughters from his first marriage, Avril and Lisa. I know from my relationship with your dad that he loved you, that he loved you dearly. Thank you for allowing us to share this time with you!
We are also joined by Tammy’s family today. To many of them, Noel was like a brother or a father figure. I have met many of you, and again, I know Noel loved you very much.
And Tammy, dear Tammy. He loved you to the very bottom of his heart. He was not always an easy man to be married to, I know. But you found a way to be his partner, in marriage, in business and in philanthropy. When I talked to the reporter, I spoke of you and Noel together, as a force to reckon with. All of this we have talked about concerning Noel’s selfless ways, involved your giving as well. We all watched with amazement how you two cared for each other, how much you served together. But those of us that knew you both understood the tensions it created in your relationship. To you Tammy, and to Noel’s entire family, we know that his service to others, and his giving heart came with a price — a price paid sometimes in strained relationships with those he loved most. It would have been impossible for it not to have. Still, he loved you all.
And now we deal with Noel’s passing. When I first heard that Noel was dead at 62, I was, like all of you, stunned. My astonishment grew when I learned later that Noel took his life. Astonished yes, but incredulous, no. You see, Noel’s service to others was at times manic. If you were a friend being drawn into his circle of giving, you know what I mean. And that manic level of serving and giving has a dark brother. Call it depression, or despondency, or despair, but it is real, and it has to be dealt with in this eulogy.
So many people I know ask why. Why Noel? Why suicide? How could this man who did so many meaningful things to improve the lives of others now take his own life? I have talked of suicide publicly before, once in a previous eulogy, so pardon my repeating it, but it fits. In his journey through life, Noel, like many of us in this life, arrived at a cliff, and Noel saw before him the dark place below. But for Noel, suddenly from behind, there was also a fire, the origin unknown. And the fire surrounded him. What Noel saw now was only the deep chasm before him and the fire behind. He did not see us, he could not see us, on the other side of the fire, pleading with him, telling him we love him, telling him we will do anything, anything in the WORLD for him, if he would just let us help put out the fire, and bring him back from the cliff. He could only see the cliff and the fire, and so out of a despair which most of us will never understand, Noel jumped
The final powerful lesson that Noel taught us all is that self-care matters too, even for the selfless.
I said to the media that Noel’s last act does not, in any way, diminish any of the great things he did for people around the world. For my part I would prefer to remember Noel, if not as a saint, then at least in the words of a saint – St. Francis of Assisi.
Noel Cunningham is the very embodiment of St Francis’ most famous prayer:
“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, let me sow pardon,
Where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
And where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not seek to be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in forgiving that we are pardoned
And it is dying that we are born to eternal life.”
God Bless you one and all.
