Dear Margo: I’m a 25-year-old male, and sometimes I cannot get an erection with my longtime significant other. What is the cause? Also, I have a hairy chest. I’ve tried waxing, but that’s too painful. Should I get laser hair removal? Shave? Live like a bear? I also use marijuana every day. Are there any side effects that I should be aware of? — Man with Questions
Dear Man: You’re kidding, right? On the off chance that you believe me to be the fount of all knowledge, I thank you for the compliment and suggest the following: For question No. 1, you should explore this with either a urologist or a therapist. These things can be physical or mental. Regarding No. 2, if you find an advice columnist who steers you toward laser, shaving, or continuing in a hirsute state, do let me know. As to No. 3, the answer is yes, and I suggest you research what they are. — Margo, variously
New Life, Different Country
Dear Margo: I’m 33 and met my husband three years ago in, of all things, an online game. He came to see me in New York, and when I visited him the next month in Winnipeg, we eloped. I’m close to my parents, who say they are happy for me. I went back to New York for a month to pack and give notice to my employer, tie up loose ends, etc., and then I moved to Canada.
My husband has a severely autistic child from a previous relationship who will be 9 next month. My stepson stays with us every weekend. I love this child as my own, but I miss my parents and siblings, who are 1,500 miles away. My husband knows I’m unhappy here (especially the winters), but I don’t know how to approach the possibly of moving back to the U.S. It’s come up, but the issue is with his son and our future kids. I realize it’s unfair to ask him to move or to ask for custody.
We would like a child of our own, but I hesitate because I’m so far from my family that they couldn’t see our baby grow up, or even visit. My mother has MS and is in poor health overall, and my parents are retiring this year to Florida. They’ve never been able to visit. We’ve gone to see them twice, but we were unable to bring my stepson (his mother was against it).
I feel unable to explain this rationally to anyone. Can I find a way to not feel guilty about starting our own family so far away from my folks? Skype and pictures just don’t seem the same for family moments. I really have no one else to run this by. — In a Bind
Dear In: I hope you can accept and get comfortable with the realities of your situation. Your stepson will not be able to move, and your folks are unable to come for visits. I see no reason for guilt about starting a family with your parents in the U.S. I would give Skype a try. I know many situations where it really is the next best thing to being there. You might also consider going alone (or with a future child) for a few weeks to visit your parents perhaps twice a year. Bag the guilt, and buy a parka. — Margo, independently
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via the online form at . Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
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