Dear Amy: My husband and I live in my childhood home on a street in which the neighbors all have good relationships. Parking is available in each of our own driveways and people use the spot in front of their respective houses if needed.
Recently, a new couple moved in across the street. When they parked in front of our house, using the spot I have used for more than 10 years, I wrote them a note that said, “My husband and I frequently switch vehicles and we prefer to leave this spot open for our use. Thank you.”
I wrote the note instead of speaking with these neighbors because we were in a hurry to go to a family party.
The next day I was confronted by the neighbor as my infant daughter and I were leaving the house. She was angry and told me I was very rude for leaving the note. I apologized and made it clear that my intention was not to be rude. She did not seem satisfied with my response and left.
My husband approached her a couple hours later and reiterated that we did not intend to be rude but that did not seem to appease her, either.
Are we wrong? — Parked in the Red Zone
Dear Parked: Leaving a note (presumably on a windshield) — especially one worded the way yours was — is rude.
Your excuse for writing the note doesn’t quite ring true. Couldn’t this have waited until you returned from your party and (presumably) had more time to be polite?
You do not own the parking spot on the street in front of your house, and it would help if you realized this.
When a family moves into a neighborhood there is often a period of uncertainty while they get their household sorted out. In writing your note you were asserting your primacy on the street.
Your neighbor did not respond well to this, but I give her credit for speaking with you directly.
Dear Amy: My wife and I have an almost two-decade history as professionals in our local health care community.
Over time I have mentored many younger professionals in my field, most of whom are women. Several of them have become dear friends to my wife and me.
There have been several occasions when I’ve met these friends/colleagues for lunch and we have been approached by women who know me but not the person I am dining with.
These women make statements like, “Oh, hello — where is your wife today?” accompanied by a “gotcha!” expression or an undisguised look of disdain for my lunch companion, as if to say, “What an insipid slut you must be!”
I find this behavior mean-spirited and feel most acutely for my lunch companions.
My wife tells me that these women are projecting their insecurities. What do you think? — Reader in Seattle
Dear Reader: Your wife is correct that these women may be projecting their insecurities onto the situation,.
Your job is to be polite, regardless of someone else’s body language. After introducing your lunch companion, you don’t need to explain yourself.
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