Dear Amy: This past weekend I attended a large cocktail party with a group of new friends.
At this party some of the other guests were smoking marijuana and doing other illegal drugs. I recognized one of the drug users as an elementary teacher at my daughter’s school.
Because the school is large, I doubt the teacher recognized me. My daughter is not in her class. I know this teacher has tenure because she has been at the school for a long time.
When I asked my friends about what was going on, they informed me that not only was this teacher a heavy drug user but also the supplier of the group.
I would not want this person as my daughter’s teacher. I feel I should tell the school to do a drug test. But with this economy, I don’t wish to facilitate anyone losing their job.
Can you give me some advice on how to handle this? — Worried and Confused
Dear Worried: I am going to assume that everything you say is absolutely correct and that this is not a case of mistaken identity.
You don’t want this teacher teaching your child. So let’s assume that the other children at your daughter’s elementary school also deserve a sober and law-abiding teacher.
You cannot tell the school to administer a random drug test. You can, however, tell the school exactly what you saw and ask them to investigate.
In addition to committing a crime by consuming and peddling illegal drugs, this teacher is exercising colossal bad judgment.
Your compassion regarding the economy runs two ways: If this teacher vacates the position, perhaps someone more competent and more deserving will be hired as a replacement.
Dear Amy: My boyfriend of six months recently got a “friend request” on Facebook from a former girlfriend. They broke up nine years ago, but their relationship was serious until she cheated on him. He accepted her friend request, and she told him that she is now divorcing the man she cheated on him to be with.
I am torn because I realize this was a long time ago, so it seems silly to be jealous. Still, I wonder why he feels the need to be in contact with her.
From what I can tell, they have not been messaging each other.
It also irks me that in this exchange of messages (which he let me read at my request); he talked about his job and recent move, but nothing about having a girlfriend.
He said that there are pictures of us together on his profile page and that I should not control who he is friends with on Facebook.
We are talking about living together, but this issue feels like the elephant in the room.
Am I being oversensitive? — Worried
Dear Worried: In this context, so far the contact between these two is akin to two people running into each other at the mall and catching up.
He didn’t reach out to her — he simply responded to her. Choose to trust him.
Don’t move in together, however, until you can chase the elephant out of the room. I agree with him that you should not control who he is Facebook friends with.
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