Getting your player ready...
Dear J.T. & Dale: I have been out of work since I had a baby in 2009. I have found it extremely hard to find a job. I live with my mother and daughter, and I feel bad that I am unable to contribute to the household. I have had many interviews, but they just aren’t hiring. My mother is fed up with me, but I tell her it’s the economy, and ask how she could just throw me out like a piece of trash, but I don’t blame her. I just keep praying and wishing that someone wealthy would come along and say, “Hey, don’t despair, I’m here to help you succeed in your endeavors and pay off your debts.” I’m desperate and don’t want to be homeless. – Teresa
DALE: That lovely little fantasy reminds me of Snow White singing, “Some Day My Prince Will Come.” And thinking of that scene, I’m going to have to play the role of Grumpy. I need to explain why your dream isn’t going to come true – because most wealthy people believe this: “If I hand a poor person a lot of money, within a year or two that person will be poor again.”
J.T.: That’s one reason the wealthy typically donate their money to a well-run charity where they know exactly how their donations will be spent. These programs are successful because they help people stay focused and build momentum so they can finally get out on their own. You should explore organizations in your area that support single mothers. I’ll bet you can find one that offers temporary housing, affordable day care and assistance in finding work.
DALE: Agreed. I teach a career course at a men’s center, and I always tell my classes that they have many advantages compared with the typical unemployed suburbanite. First, they have an employment coach to help them optimize their appearance and approach. Even better, when they moved into the facility, they inherited an instant network. There are 90 other men living there, all of whom are either employed or actively searching for work, and that means 90 guys out in the workplace who are able to spot job openings for one another. Contrast this with sitting at Mom’s, wishing and hoping. So, let’s be honest: You’d be better off if your mother threw you out and you were forced to seek other assistance.
J.T.: Do your mother a favor and take the initiative. (And one more thing: Please consider a different email address, one that doesn’t include a word like “vixen.” There are HR people who routinely reject anyone with a suggestive email address. You can keep your current email for personal use, but get another one, such as a gmail account, with a conservative, professional address.)
Dear J.T. & Dale: I just returned from overseas and am looking for a job in the private sector. All my Army friends say not to bother, because civilians don’t understand the military and don’t hire us. How do I get companies to consider me? – Bradley
J.T.: One online resource you should check out is ClearedJobs.net. This is a job board for positions that require security clearance, but it also offers extensive job-search resources. As for getting companies to consider you, it starts with convincing yourself. Where do you see yourself working in corporate America? What jobs have you identified that you are confident you could do successfully? If you can articulate reasons why you will succeed, you’ll have the right information to share with employers
DALE: Speaking of convincing yourself, if all your Army friends are negative about civilian jobs, you need new friends. I’m sure there are some managers who have a bias against returning military, but there are many more who appreciate military discipline and work ethic. If you network your way to veterans who have made the transition, you can see your contribution in a new job; that vision is what J.T. is talking about, connecting your future to your past.
