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Dear J.T. & Dale: My boss is obsessed with texting. She texts all day long. It is impossible to maintain eye contact with her because she is always glancing at her phone. I have my annual review coming up, and I’d like to ask her to put away her phone during our conversation because I find it rude and distracting. What do you think about me politely asking for her undivided attention? – Phoebe

J.T.: I wouldn’t suggest that you request a “text-free” meeting. Pointing out a boss’s weakness is the fastest way to get on her bad side – the last thing you want to do at the time of your performance review. Apparently, the texting isn’t hurting her career – yet. So, until it does, you need to accept it.

DALE: It is rude and distracting – it’s vexting. Worse yet, it’s inefficient. People tell themselves that they are multitasking, but the truth is that your mind is simply skipping sequentially from one task to the next, so it’s really inefficient task-flitting or divi-tasking. And while J.T. probably is right that you’re stuck with it, one approach might work. Do a little research on ways to make meetings more effective. One suggestion will be to reduce interruptions. Put together a proposal to improve your departmental meetings, and suggest an experiment in which calls and texts are not allowed. Your boss just might agree to try it, and if so, you could suggest that your performance review be one of those experimental sessions.

J.T.: Given the way people have become addicted to texting, I doubt that this experiment will happen. Your next approach might be to pull together for your annual review a presentation that would require concentration, a meeting experience that will hold your boss’s attention.

DALE: One other thought, to put this in perspective: It would be good to lower your expectations for annual reviews. Effective managers give advice and direction throughout the year, making an annual review all but superfluous.

If you aren’t getting these, seek out advice instead of saving up issues for the review, and, who knows, perhaps you’ll even get some great feedback via texts.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I am 31 years old and haven’t found a true career. I have worked numerous jobs since I was 15, but have never kept one longer than nine months. I need some serious help. – Nate

J.T.: First off, assuming you haven’t been fired from all those jobs, I find it fabulous that you’ve had so many jobs – yes, fabulous. The fact that you keep trying new things tells me that you aren’t content to just “collect a paycheck”; instead, you keep working to find your true career or calling. Plus, you aren’t afraid to move on or to experiment.

DALE: All that experimentation means you have lots of data points to help you figure out what aspects of work are most appealing to you. Make a list of your five favorite jobs, and alongside each one, list its attributes and benefits. You should see some patterns.

J.T.: But here’s a problem I see when I work with clients with backgrounds like yours: Even when their jobs start out as engaging, they jump ship as soon as the job feels the slightest bit boring. This is where a career coach can be invaluable. (I maintain a list of coaches at careerealism.com.)
A career coach can help you look for a new direction within a career and help you stick with it past the honeymoon phase. You’ll soon find yourself developing a new skill set: The ability to look for new challenges and opportunities within a career.

DALE: A good coach will help you understand the critical workplace reality that it’s efficient for companies to create jobs where employees repeat tasks at which they are expert. Thus, boredom is typical, almost inevitable. This means it’s up to you to find challenges, to be that type of employee who is experimenting with new methods. With the right employer, this can turn what seemed to be a shortcoming – your short attention span – into a natural curiosity, driving creativity and achievement.