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If you’ve been unemployed for a while, you may be feeling a little desperate. But letting that feeling show during your job search can be the kiss of death. So what exactly distinguishes desperate job search behavior from proactive behavior – and how can you avoid the former?

“When candidates are feeling desperate, negative or cynical, the employer can smell it a mile away,” says Ford Myers, author of “Get the Job You Want Even When No One’s Hiring.”

“Desperation is a total turnoff. Instead of opening more doors for the job seeker, these behaviors close doors to new opportunities.”

We asked hiring managers and others to share their experiences with desperate job seekers and offer tips on how to avoid crossing the line.

Blatant Self-Promotion. A 2009 La Salle University graduate got a lot of media coverage by handing out his resum茅 to people passing in cars in Philadelphia. Bad idea, Myers says. “Don’t spread a resum茅 around like confetti,” he says. “It will give the impression that you’re begging for any job. And what sort of hiring manager wants a candidate like that?”

Instead, Myers advises job seekers to approach their search by changing the conversation from “I need a job” to “I can solve problems for your business.”

Stymied job seekers would be wise to step back and take stock of their true value in the working world. “This boosts the confidence of candidates, and positions them to behave more professionally and appropriately,” he says. “If job seekers are unable to identify and articulate their value, a good career coach can help prepare and package them for a more effective search experience.”

Extreme Follow-Up. Jeff Vaught, president of Transition Essentials, a career consulting firm in Michigan, remembers being hounded by a desperate job seeker a few years ago. “Only a few hours after setting up the interview, the candidate called to confirm,” he recalls. “And then again at midnight that same day, leaving a voice mail that they were ‘too excited to sleep.’ It didn’t end there, though – they also called again at 7:30 a.m. the next morning.”

Vaught canceled the interview and didn’t reschedule. “The lack of common sense of appropriate business etiquette made it difficult to imagine them working for the company,” he says. “The desperation raised a lot of red flags.”

A better approach would have been to make one follow-up call to confirm the interview – ideally, first thing the morning of the appointment.

Crazy Talk at the Interview. When you do meet potential employers, be mindful of how you present yourself, cautions Richard Laermer, CEO of New York City-based RLM PR. “Language is everything,” he says. “People act as though they are being cute, and so they say what they think we want to hear instead of what distinguishes them from the crowd.” Here are some bad lines Laermer has heard: