A still from a Cory Gardner ad.
It really didn’t matter where you were or how you were consuming your media in Denver for the last, it seems, million years. Around every corner, some everyperson was ready to tell you their personal tale of suffering and how it related to the way you, dear voter, needed to fill out your ballot this year.
In the same way that the entire internet became terrifying for me after I Googled a whole bunch of Rocket Raccoon costumes so I could send the creepy product images to my friend Pete, accidentally populating my own web experience with targeted Amazon ads bearing photos of , the internet has for weeks been a hellish pile-up of autoplay ads describing the qualities of the lesser demons that had possessed either Mark Udall or Cory Gardner, set against high-contrast black-and-white photos of failed exorcisms. Right? I mean I’m right, right? I didn’t pay super close attention to them.
So many TV viewers here were subjected to the .
But we all hoped that it would be better after the fourth. “At least it will stop the ads,” we all told each other, bleary-eyed and praying for someone, anyone, to win the election already.
“If I am elected,” the perfect candidate might have said, “I will stop my supporters from buying political ads. Furthermore, I will instruct them to buy the same amount of advertising time and fill it with either video of mountain scenes with gentle breeze soundscapes or non-autoplay Beyonce music videos.”
So. Can we safely turn on our TVs now? Is the internet safe again? Can we go back to one-weird-trick ads? And… when can we expect the 2016 ads to start?
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