“Nice game, Coach.”
That is what tumbles awkwardly out of my mouth as I fumble for the right way to shake your hand at the end of the football game. Perhaps in the gruff, macho world of football that is all that needs to be said. But it is not all I am thinking.
What I fail to say is how lucky we are as parents to have had our son randomly assigned to your team, to have our son play alongside yours now. The values you helped instill in our teenager — beginning well before he reached his teen years — have made him a better kid. And though a fist bump may suffice, I feel that after so many years you deserve more.
As his coach, you’ve shown our kid the importance of teamwork, practice and striving for perfection. Work hard together, do your best, and victory will follow. But when it doesn’t, focus on improving, and next week will be another chance at victory.
Our son has learned to manage his schedule, take responsibility for his actions and, just possibly, the importance of balancing screen time with exercise. His regard for authority is manifest not only as “yes, coach” or “yes, sir,” but also in the polite way he engages with other adults off the playing field. And with four of you chaotically calling in plays all at one time from the sidelines, he most certainly knows how to focus and assimilate complex information.
Youth sports can be tough on coaches, families and kids. Between practice, games and prep time, football became a part-time job for you. We parents put up with a hailstorm of criticism about how we could possibly let our son play such a dangerous sport, while the boys themselves spent hours out in a chilly downpour running plays. Yet, by standing with them in the rain, you modeled a sense of dedication and commitment that has my son sprinting back to practice every evening regardless of the ever-changing Colorado weather.
You are no saint; we get that. Yours is a thankless volunteer job filled with parents who know better and vitriolic opponents that have occasionally gotten the best of you. Know that we can see beyond your weaknesses though. You, too, have grown — calmer, wiser — over the years, and don’t think that the boys have not noticed.
But perhaps what I am most thinking as I go in for the half hug is how I appreciate the instillation of self-worth and even, more importantly, of selflessness in our son — how building others up is surprisingly more important in football, as in life, than knocking people down. Even in defeat, our son’s head seems to be held high. As we listen to him yelling encouragement to his teammates on the field or pumping them up in a huddle, we are proud beyond description, regardless of the score – though, of course, we prefer it to be in our favor.
Zian was already a great kid, but over the years you have helped to make him – and all the boys on the Crushers team – into outstanding young men. So, coach, what I really mean to say is, “Thank you.”
Mark Thrun is a public health physician in Denver. His son, Zian Lusero, played his sixth season with the Arvada Crushers this fall. Thrun was on the 2007 Colorado Voices panel.
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