Getting your player ready...
Dear J.T. & DALE: I work in an office full of young people. I’m young too, but I’m not a party girl, and this group goes out after work. This is starting to alienate me. For example, I just found out that several of them started a project and got to pick who worked on it. I never even heard about it. Suggestions? – Amy
DALE: When I was a young corporate guy, the thing to do after work was drink martinis and smoke cigars, then spend all day Saturday playing golf. Being a bookish sort, I rarely joined in. It confused me when people with fewer qualifications were chosen over me for key projects. Eventually, I understood that corporate teams are not as much about capability as about connection. The people who went out together developed a broader base of company knowledge and relationships. I thought they were wasting their time, but they were, consciously or not, investing in being better teammates. J.T.: Just because you don’t like to party, Amy, doesn’t mean you can’t build great office relationships. When you don’t participate in activities outside the office, it can feel to others as if you’re snubbing them, which to them feels like being judged. To offset that, try to spend more time with them at work talking about your hobbies. Find common ground. DALE: Seek out those who share your passion for music or museums or whatever it is you enjoy, and invite them to join you. If they decide against going, at least they know that you welcomed their company and so they cannot feel snubbed. Still, you need to make time for real connections. J.T.: One way to do that is to add value to their work. Show them that you want to help them get ahead, and they’ll be likely to include you on project teams. Even so, please consider spending time with your officemates outside the office. You could do it once a month to show that you care about them as teammates. DALE: Remember that being a good teammate is a critical skill. Think of those evenings out as a workshop in communication and camaraderie. And know this: Over time, there will be fewer and fewer evenings out as your colleagues begin to marry and have children. In time, you’ll find yourself longing for those carefree days when you could go out after work, and you’ll ask, “Why didn’t I do more of that when I could?” Dear J.T. & Dale: I graduated from college and can’t find a job. My parents are pushing me to work retail or fast food to pay bills. However, I didn’t spend four years studying my butt off to work an hourly job like that. Can you suggest better ways I can make money while trying to get a career started? – Trevor DALE: To put your situation in perspective, Trevor, a recent Harris Poll, conducted for CareerBuilder, says that about one-third of 2014 grads are not working (some are in grad school), and of those who are, about half are in jobs that do NOT require a college degree. The fact that one-third are not working might reassure your parents; however, my guess is that they would point to all those working in non-degree jobs and say that you are being too picky.
