A co-worker recently confessed that she never had friends over because .
When I asked her how cluttered, she told me that one of her two bedrooms was completely stuffed and that her bathtub was full of car parts.
“Would you like me to come over and help you?” I was serious.
Partly by necessity and partly by nature, I have earned a black belt in decluttering.
I saw her consider this. Then she said, “Let me see if I can make a dent first.” And I knew it would never happen.
I’m not a psychologist. I am just a columnist trying to help folks — myself included — live better and more beautifully, one home, one room and sometimes one closet at a time.
Though I couldn’t help my co-worker, maybe I can help you.
I get the deep emotional reasons we hold things more dearly than we should. I shared my distress when I sorted through my parents’ home of nearly 50 years. I could write a book about it. (Actually, I am. It’s due this summer.)
But I also know that to have a beautiful, functional home, we must bust our stuff. Crack the cycle of “get but don’t give up.” That means all of us, but especially those who can no longer use a room in their home, or use their bathtub for goodness sakes, because of all the clutter.
Nip it now, because research shows that left unchecked, a saving problem becomes a clutter problem which turns into a hoarding habit, which requires professional help to unpack, said hoarding expert professor of social work at Boston University and co-author of two books on hoarding.
A good friend of mine grew up in a house of hoarders. Her parents, now in their late 70s, have taken the problem to the extreme.
“It doesn’t matter if an item is broken,” she told me. “To them, if they throw it away, it feels like they’re throwing away part of themselves. They have an emotional attachment to their objects almost as if they’re alive.”
Some of those objects actually are alive. The couple also has 40-some cats.
Now their hoarding habit has turned hazardous. The home’s roof is falling in and there’s no running water, heating or air conditioning, because the home hasn’t been serviced in years, she said. Her parents worry that if a repairman comes, he might report the condition of the house and have it condemned.
I share this cautionary tale, so pre-hoarders out there can reverse their supersaver cycles now.
Those who aren’t too far gone may be able to get their homes under control with a little awareness, a lot of motivation, the help of a friend and a few new habits.
10 steps to stopping a clutter problem
Syndicated columnist and speaker Marni Jameson is the author of “House of Havoc” and “The House Always Wins” (Da Capo Press). Contact her through www.marnijameson.com.
