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Dear J.T. & DALE: A girl at my office got married a year ago. She is dying to have a baby, but her husband doesn’t have a good job right now, and she makes more money. I overheard her talking about how much she’d like to find a way to go on disability so she can stay at home and still collect a paycheck. This made me so mad. I know she is actively finding ways to claim worker’s comp. What should I do? If I tell my boss, my co-worker will know it was me, and it will be impossible to work together. – April
DALE: I’d hesitate to report what is now a non-event. Should you tell the boss, your co-worker will deny everything and the entire office will look upon you with suspicion. There’s a reason we have terms like “rat,” “snitch” and “squealer.” If she actually puts in motion a fraudulent claim, that’s another issue.
J.T.: I agree that going to the boss would be a mistake, at least at this point. But, April, I say you really do need to step up here. Doing the right thing is hard, but I think that this plan would work: Invite your colleague to take a walk, and tell her you were really bothered to hear her comments and you hope she would never take advantage of the company that way. Without saying it, you’re making it clear that if she does try this, you’ll go on the record about what you heard.
DALE: OK, talk to her, but tread gently on that quicksand, because you’ve done a bit of snooping here, and moreover, making accusations is going to destroy the work relationship (while ensuring that she doesn’t go out on disability and thus will be nearby to actively hate you). So, instead of telling her, ask her. Ask her if she’s serious about attempting the disability claim. Maybe it was nothing but talk. Or maybe she has a legitimate case. If not, and she confesses to plotting a sleazy attempt to work the system, then give her bad news – not that you’re going to turn her in, but that she’s sure to get caught and ruin her career. Turn your investigative zeal into finding examples of such cases to pass along.
J.T.: Better yet, see if you can turn things around by offering to help her or her husband find a new job. Networking is the No. 1 way of getting jobs these days, and perhaps by tapping into your network, you can help her husband find a better position or help your co-worker get with a company with great maternity benefits or options, or a work-at-home job. That way, you’ll do right by your company and your co-worker.
Dear J.T. & Dale: My office is an open workspace – not even cubes. We have assigned desks. I have a new office mate who eats crunchy food ALL DAY! She is a total snacker. I’m going insane. We are allowed to eat at our desks, so she isn’t breaking rules. Is it rude if I get earplugs? – Simone
DALE: The snacker is not the problem. We live in a world of chaotic noise and distraction. Unless you want to become a subsistence farmer or a Trappist monk (and I’m not even sure about those), you need to learn the self-discipline of tuning your mental radio to the “work” channel. It won’t work to tell yourself not to hear something – that’s just the “don’t think of a white elephant” conundrum; instead, you need to exercise a kind of worker’s meditation. Challenge yourself to see if you can go 10 seconds without thinking about anything but your work. Then 30 seconds, and so on. It’s a game with a big prize.
J.T.: If that doesn’t work, Simone, let’s return to answering your question. Yes, putting in earplugs would be rude. Unless you talk to your co-worker first and explain that you have sensitive ears and that you don’t want her to think you’re being rude. If all goes well, she’ll take the hint and will work at being more considerate.
– Workplace consultant and career coach J.T. O’Donnell has coached, trained and mentored employees and managers on a wide variety of career-related subjects since 1994. Her book, “CAREEREALISM: The Smart Approach to A Satisfying Career” is available at JTODonnell.com. Management guru Dale Dauten has written six books and is an authority on innovation in the workplace. His latest book, “Great Employees Only: How Gifted Bossess Hire & Dehire Their Way to Success” is available at Dauten.com. copyright 2013 King Features.
