It took a lot of prodding, but Tosh Berman finally got it.
The co-owner of the Donkey Den is changing the names of some offensive menu items, and is removing all references to Tijuana because it conjured images of “donkey shows” – freak shows in which prostitutes have sex with donkeys for a mostly American male audience.
Berman resisted for weeks, even while the number of protesters outside his tavern often outnumbered the number of patrons inside. Saturday, he relented.
Score one for decency. Sophomoric humor and insensitive marketing that degrades women may be a First Amendment right for entrepreneurs, but women should never accept it.
There still will be those who don’t get it and will argue that Berman caved in to be politically correct.
Part of the reason some folks think it’s OK to degrade women is that we’ve become immune to it. From the Coors Twins to Hooters, objectifying women is commonplace.
Sometimes, the only way to get people to understand how offensive it is to joke about violence against women is to flip it on men.
So here goes: Imagine a place called The Bobbitt BBQ.
On the menu are wieners, and fresh-cut fries. The place is filled with hunky waiters wearing tight T-shirts emblazoned with a drawing of a woman clutching a knife.
When people protest, the owner will claim that any references to the infamous John Wayne Bobbitt, the man whose penis was severed by his wife, Lorena, in 1993, are purely coincidental.
That’s how the protesters felt about the Donkey Den. To them, the name of the place, coupled with the slogan “Tijuana Ain’t in Mexico No More” referenced “donkey shows” in Tijuana’s red light district.
Berman and his fiancée, Neysa Quintana, said they didn’t know there were such things as donkey shows. Berman even questioned their existence.
Apparently, such places exist. A colleague put me in touch with John Stout, a 36-year-old from the Western Slope, who saw a donkey show in Tijuana when he was a teenager.
“When I saw the name Donkey Den, that’s what I thought,” Stout said. “I thought of TJ back in the old days.”
I believe Berman when he says he didn’t know. But I’m glad he recognizes the need to make changes. “Ho-Made Fries” will become “Home-made Fries.” The “Donkey Punch Burger” will become the “Boycott Burger.” Very clever.
I’m hoping Berman also will remove the ethnically insensitive dessert called “The Mexican Babysitter.”
The objectification of women will continue. It’s an ingrained part of American advertising. The waitresses will continue to wear micro-miniskirts and tight T-shirts at the bar on Lincoln Street in Denver’s Golden Triangle neighborhood. The music videos will still flash on large screens throughout the bar, which invariably feature gyrating women who are scantily dressed.
Berman had claimed the negative publicity caused a spike in business.
“You should see this place!” he told me Thursday night. “Right now for dinner we’re packed.”
Forty minutes later, I walked inside and the cavernous place was nearly empty.
Restaurants in that location seem to die an early death, so it might be a matter of time before the Den shuts down – regardless of Berman’s efforts to make amends.
But he’s agreeing to host benefits for organizations working to end violence against women. If he can recast his restaurant as a place that cares about the exploitation and mistreatment of women, he might be able to turns things around.
If that doesn’t work, he at least can be proud that he did right by women.
Cindy Rodríguez’s column appears Tuesdays and Thursdays in Scene. Contact her at 303-820-1211 or crodriguez@denverpost.com.
