You pay a guy $10 million a season to coach your team and he shows up in sandals, a T-shirt and a necklace of Chinese black beads with a medallion hanging from it that is supposed to be good for the heart.
What the heck, it was the second time around for Phil Jackson with the Los Angeles Lakers, so why fret over formalities? No sense ruining good threads in the middle of gulping messy crow.
Less than a year ago, Jackson was booted by Lakers owner Jerry Buss with prodding from Kobe Bryant, called Bryant uncoachable, said if Bryant remained on the club he had to exit as coach, said he had had it with the kid, trashed the Lakers as an organization and wrote a book about it.
Now Jackson is back as the highest-paid coach in sports history.
On Monday near Los Angeles you had Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, set free.
A day later in Los Angeles you had Phil Jackson, the King of Pomp, moonwalking back to the Lakers.
Without Buss (vacationing in Europe) or Bryant (lame statement of support issued) anywhere in sight. Both were no doubt busy swallowing their own servings of humility.
A lot of people always said they believed Jackson was the luckiest coach to have ever lived, having won his nine NBA championships, first with Jordan and Pippen and then with Shaq and Kobe. Now you can toss in that he is one of the most waffling coaches ever without an ounce of credibility.
Jackson says this is a story of reconciliation and redemption.
Sounds to me more like one of ridiculousness and recreation.
It is a good thing Jackson has those nine titles. And this new $10 million, three-year contract. The power and the money talks with NBA players. Otherwise, the Lakers players would prefer to tune him out and not trust him anywhere near a court.
His yearly salary dwarfs the NBA player average of $4.9 million. It would rank in the top 50 among NBA players. Only Lakers Bryant ($15.9 million), Brian Grant ($14.3 million) and Lamar Odom ($11.4 million) earn more than Jackson. He doubles the annual salaries of current NBA Finals coaches Larry Brown of Detroit ($5 million) and Gregg Popovich of San Antonio ($4 million).
What a shame for Shaquille O’Neal. Bryant instigates Shaq’s and Jackson’s departures from the Lakers, Bryant’s Lakers flop last season but Bryant remains. Jackson feuds with Bryant, feuds with Buss, is banished but returns.
Shaq left in a huff for the Miami Heat and what he yearned for most was this year’s NBA championship. Immediate redemption and revenge. No championship for Shaq. No imminent return to Showtime.
This trio crashed, but look for Jackson to immediately begin searching for another third wheel. This guy likes things in threes. His triangle offense. His new three-year deal. His NBA titles that were earned in three sets of three- year spans.
Jackson must torch this current Lakers roster if he expects to win an NBA coaching-record 10th title during his current contract. This team was 34-48 last season, finished behind the Clippers, ranked 11th of the 15 teams in the Western Conference and was only the seventh team in history to reach an NBA Finals and crumple so feebly to no playoffs the next season.
The Lakers had more games fail to sell out last season than they did in their four previous seasons combined. Cap-tight, Buss reached for a star coach, one a few months ago he could not stomach, to salvage a fading franchise.
There is little honor here among Jackson, Bryant and Buss.
They deserve each other.
It says plenty about the Lakers and Jackson that a news conference would be held announcing this nonsense on the day Game 3 of the NBA Finals was being played. The Lakers could not be in it, but they sure could try to upstage it. Clueless. Classless.
Some fans will want to see this season if Bryant strangles Jackson or if Jackson, medallion and all, suffers a weary, stressful heart.
This is a great story, Jackson says.
No, it is pure theater and bad theater, one that will be incessantly shoved down our throats.
A lockout, after all, never looked so appealing.
Staff writer Thomas George can be reached at 303-820-1994 or tgeorge@denverpost.com.
