Cherry Hills Village
The U.S. Women’s Open was a major loss in the battle of the sexes.
This tournament robbed golf of its beauty and made little girls cry.
Who wants to see that?
Sunday was a bad day for pink, unless you were a chauvinist pig.
Here’s the problem with a tournament in which 3-over par is rewarded with first-place prize money. There are macho golfers who believe the only great shot a female can make is vodka shaken in a martini at the 19th hole. They must have loved watching the ladies hack it around Cherry Hills Country Club.
During a tediously brutal final round, it came down to this. First good shot won.
After slopping in a chip from a greenside bunker on No. 18 to win the championship, maybe Birdie Kim should change her name to Lucky.
There were so many great stories women could have told at this tourney. Annika Sorenstam taking a mighty swing at the Grand Slam. Michelle Wie wrestling with the legend of Tiger Woods. Morgan Pressel making history as a 17-year-old amateur.
But nothing great this way came, because the USGA stubbornly thinks America would rather watch the torture of an athlete’s soul than see a true test of sport.
The golf geeks in charge turned the most beautiful old 18 holes in Colorado into a goat ranch.
The grass was left unmowed so long it would have violated the landscaping covenants in any chic Cherry Hills Village neighborhood. On the desert- dry, rock-hard greens, dancing on a pin would have been easier than putting for birdie. Nobody said golf was a game of fair, but it should not be rigged worse than the ring toss on the carnival midway.
Difficult?
“Difficult would be too easy a word,” said Wie, who began one of the most humiliating days of her 15-year-old life tied for first place.
If the teenage phenom had ventured any farther into the woods while stumbling to an 82, the leaderboard would have posted an Amber Alert for Wie’s sudden disappearance.
“I definitely have to get a GPS for my ball, because it was lost out there,” she said.
This course, now considered too long in the tooth and short off the tee to scare touring male pros carrying titanium clubs, reduced more than one female competitor to tears.
Hope the USGA is proud of itself.
What girl does not dream of growing up to weep on national television after a round of golf? That’s no way to win young converts to the game or recruit fans who think an LPGA telecast is best used as an excuse for an afternoon nap on the couch.
Mentally beat after 17 holes, Lorena Ochoa marched to No. 18 with a real chance for a dramatic comeback victory, then swung a 3-wood that could not have left a bigger doughnut on a tee box if she were driving a Buick with bald tires.
Her ball went glub, glub, glub in a lake almost as wet as the bloodshot eyes Ochoa painfully batted in defeat.
Pressel, who finished tied for second, got so irritated fighting for pars the fairway trees worried she might start chewing bark. As tears streamed down her face after an exasperating round, somebody handed Pressel a box of Kleenex, when what she probably really needed was a hug.
When asked if the course was unfair, Pressel bravely replied, “It doesn’t matter if I like it or not, I’ve got to play it.”
Sorenstam not only can pound a drive somewhere over the rainbow, she could arm-wrestle most of the gorillas in your regular foursome for honors at the first tee.
Cherry Hills, however, beat up Sorenstam throughout four rounds. When Sorenstam is unable to break par a single day at the tournament, the track might be too macho for its own good.
Don’t get me wrong. The U.S. Women’s Open should be invited back to town ASAP.
But am I a softie for thinking the best golfers in the world should never end a round by reaching for a hankie? The promising young stars of the LPGA won’t become household names by being made to look like fools.
One good shot does not a great tournament make.
Cherry Hills looks better as a garden than a jungle.
So here’s hoping the USGA returns to Colorado for an Open championship that’s something more than smudged mascara and survival of the fittest.
Next time, try bringing a lawn mower and a hose.
Staff writer Mark Kiszla can be reached at 303-820-5438 or mkiszla@denverpost.com.
