Q: Dear Scott,
I wrote you earlier about my relationship, in which my girlfriend hails from England, and there is a big issue about her family still being there.
I think I may have downplayed the situation a bit. You see, she cries a lot.
Her parents call begging her to return. We have intense conversations about it all hours of the night, only to come to no resolution.
As far as me going to the U.K., it would not be smart. I have no college education and I just recently started a job that requires a degree and I felt I should take advantage of this opportunity.
Also, it would be very difficult for me to find work and to even get legal residency there. She says she has to have her family and I understand greatly; when I put myself in her shoes. I can’t imagine the pain.
She wants to be with me very much and marry me and have a family with me, as do I with her. Very complicated.
Scott, we have built a life together, we have lived with one another for two years! The pain of saying goodbye burns in the root of my soul. The pain she must be experiencing being away from them does the same. I want her happy.
Scott, do I tell her to go? Do I let the love of my life slip away?
I’m so confused and hurt.
– C&H Denver
SCOTT: Dear C& H,
When your e-mail appeared in my column a couple weeks a go, we got a lot of feedback, some of which is posted on the . Check it out.
There comes a time to leave the nest and move on to the next chapter of life, no matter how painful, difficult or inconvenient it may be.
I hope your girlfriend decides to stay with you and occasionally visit her family, but that’s her decision. Yes, it’s challenging, yes it’s sad. But you need to get past this hump and find a sensible compromising solution that will work for both of you.
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