Q: Scott,
I read your column daily in between calls at work and I really enjoy it. I
never thought I’d write, but here it goes.
I have an awesome husband of six years. We are a blended family with six kids
between us. All are grown and gone, except for an 18-year-old and a 7-year-old. We have always had a very healthy and active sex life.
Two years ago,
my husband retired from the air force and began his second career making
twice as much money, and I also landed a great job. We started out with
nothing when we got married, and now we have it all, every blessing we could
have possible asked for.
Here’s the problem: my husband has zero sex drive
or desire!
Now, I’m a patient lady but it’s been over two years since it’s
been normal! I made him a doctor’s appointment and we found out he has high
blood pressure and high cholesterol. He’s been on medications for over a
year.
I realize this can cause problems in the erection area but then again,
there’s more than one way to skin a cat! So what’s up?
We’ve had discussion
after discussion about it and we got nowhere. He gets defensive and I’m left
feeling undesirable. I’m so insecure at this point, I’m wondering if he’s
having an affair.
My thought is, “if he’s not making any attempt to please
me, then whom is he pleasing?”
In every other area of our lives, we are
complete. He is my best friend, my sweetheart and the one person I’ll always
be in love with. He always reassures me that he feels the same.
The
rejection is eating me alive. I’ve suggested marriage counseling and going
back to see his doctor together to see if there’s something he can take to
help out the problem, and I’m met with nothing but rejections.
Any ideas? I’m
honestly standing on the edge of goodbye.
– Lady in Waiting
SCOTT: Lady, don’t give up on your relationship just yet. Your husband’s medical
problems could easily be the culprit.
But while he’s suffering impotently,
you’re hot and bothered and ready for action.
By the way, he could still
“put out” an effort to please you in other ways. Have you told him that?
Yes,
there is more than one way to skin a cat, or in this case, get your guy up.
Actually, there’re several.
Let’s look at a couple: Viagra of course is the
most obvious option, but I also just read in a health magazine about the
over-the-counter natural supplement L-Arginine. It works by relaxing blood
vessels and therefore helps a plethora of men’s health problems like high
blood pressure, high cholesterol and erectile dysfunction. Sound familiar?
DISCLAIMER: Of course he must consult his doctor first, but if given the OK,
he should try some new methods until he finds something that works.
And you
can help by setting the mood. Give him a “gentlemen’s magazine” or even turn
on some porn while you’re throw something sexy on (only to wear
temporarily).
With the right mood and some effort on both sides, you’ll get
his little soldier to give you the salute you deserve.