You’re headed to the beach for vacation, and you’ve got big plans for one of those rave-reviewed 800-page histories out in bookstores now.
You lug it along. You dig your toes in the sand and inhale the salt. You forget about work.
And never crack the tome.
Instead, you leaf.
The New Yorker. Sports Illustrated. Vogue.
Publishers pump out new magazines every month, and there’s a bunch of fresh ones beckoning from the shelves, appealing to your vacation-dazzled eyes.
Which ones are beach-worthy? Read on:
Plenty: It’s not the jazziest publication in the world, but hey, it’s an environmental magazine. It’s less about titillation than it is about preaching to the choir. Plenty offers a tagline of “Smart Living for a Complex World,” and it delivers: If you want questions about how to live as environmentally friendly as possible, Plenty has answers. The premiere issue had an article trumpeting Carbondale as a “modern-day Eden” for environmentalists. Eden? Carbondale?
Luxe: They’re calling it “The Colorado Home Redefined,” but it really needs a little more clarification. Howsabout, “The Colorado Home Redefined for Obscenely Wealthy People.” We’re thinking that Luxe may in fact be the subversive propaganda of some canny provocateurs in the local chapter of the Communist Party. Show the rest of the state how the very richest live and voila! Workers of the state, unite!
Fuego: It’s packed with female flesh, tough-guy looks and ads for booze and hip-hop style. So it’s a 21st-century men’s magazine. Instead of offering just a catalog of bling and attitude, Fuego give us stories. About real people. It’s cool. And we love the braggadocio on the cover of the premiere issue: “99% J-Lo Free!”
Pink: Their editors might say they are gender-neutral, but many business magazines presume suit-and-tie readers. Pink knows its readers are the suit-and-pumps sort, and the magazine delivers lots of pertinent information, most of it smart, some of it fun. From entrepreneur to corporate manager, Pink delves into the working world of women and helps.
Sly: We’ll get to the magazine-as-pinata part, but first: When the magazine Sly has nothing to do with Sylvester Stallone, it’s pretty good. Loved, for example, the spread celebrating the 10-best pinups of the 1970s (Farrah Fawcett reigns). But my oh my, keep Sly away. His “rant,” his tribute to Ray Charles, his absurd mock screenplay for another Rocky movie – all of it creepy and embarrassing. It’s the kind of bad that makes you just say, “wow.”
VLife: Hollywood is Brad Pitt, Halle Berry and Will Ferrell. Unless, that is, you’re talking about the real Hollywood: agents, writers, lawyers, mid-level moguls and wannabe stars. If your interest in Hollywood goes beyond the genetically blessed men and women gracing so many magazine covers, then insider dish might sate you. And VLife – published by the people who give us the Hollywood trade magazine Variety – has plenty of that peculiar type of sustenance.
Domino: The Conde Nast publishing empire invented the “magalog,” the combination magazine-catalog, with Lucky, a shopping magazine for women. They followed it with Cargo, for men, and now they’ve launched Domino, for the home. There’s a lot of copycat magalogs out there now, but the Conde Nast impresarios seem to have the true gift for it. If, like so many Americans, you obsess over all things house, than Domino is worth a concentrated leaf-through.
Tango: This is an odd creature. Its conjurers probably thought a Redbook for men and women was a spark of genius, but no. Just a spark. Even the touchiest-feeliest guy in America is going to find Tango a rough slog. Given the predominance of fluff-as-copy, it’s going to be a hard sell for women too.
Red: The Brits launched Red in their stomping grounds back in the 1990s. It triumphed, and they hatched a cross-pond version this year. It’s got a dash of Euro sophistication, but not much bloody else to set it apart from its U.S. womens-magazine competitors. Cheerio, Red.
New Beauty: When a magazine feels compelled to champion its “editorial advisory board” with much valuable page real-estate, be worried. But if “beauty enhancements” like face-lifts, laser treatments, Botox and wrinkle creams intrigue you, get past your inhibitions and check out this one. Don’t look for any exposés – it’s all pretty rah-rah – but do expect plenty of information about the many procedures and potions that are available. And with a premiere issue clocking in at more than 200 glossy pages, you’ll get the heft of that biography you imagined yourself reading before actually sinking into that beach chair.
Staff writer Douglas Brown can be reached at 303-820-1395 or djbrown@denverpost.com.
