Hedonism. I can’t recommend it highly enough. When you’re overworked and under-loved and psychiatrically disturbed, it’s what you need. Even if you’re none of the above, it can’t hurt.
For some people this means a spa treatment, or an entire spa vacation. I still can’t warm up to the concept. Even with cucumber slices on my eyelids and scented oil sinking into my flesh, I never quite embrace my inner selfish pig. For this, I prefer an early autumn day on the Western Slope, spent riding my bike, eating like a pig and maybe even throwing down glasses of wine before noon.
Not surprisingly, all this has been organized for me. Key to the hedonistic lifestyle is never getting mixed up in logistics. I prefer to just show up.
So here’s the plan: On Sept. 17, I’ll do the Tour of the Vineyards. Like a lot of Coloradans, I’ve spent the past four months pushing my cardiovascular system to its limits, trying to propel my road bike yet more miles and over more passes. While this is all sweaty and virtuous, I feel I deserve a regular old bike ride, the kind you do when you just got a brand-new, three-speed Schwinn for your eighth birthday.
Twenty-five miles through Palisade, fits the bill nicely. It’s a perfect family ride, ideally suited for toddlers in trailers or tag-alongs. There’s only one big climb, and the reward at the top is a view that lays it all out: the Colorado River, the Book Cliffs, the orchards.
Palisade is like an oasis in a Rudolph Valentino movie – impossibly fertile and green, in the middle of dry rock walls. And you really can get to know it on a bike.
At 15 mph, you don’t miss the old wooden houses, the apple, peach and pear-laden trees and, of course, the vineyards, which are rapidly Napa-tizing the valley. Most important, you have the leisure to play the real estate game – pick your favorite acreage and spend the next 10 miles whining, “I want it, I want it, I want it!”
The ride finishes at Grande River Vineyards, with the obligatory after-meal. Luckily, better dining options are close by, at the Colorado Mountain Winefest.
Last year I found bratwurst with grilled onions and homemade ice cream, among many other choices. Good luck trying to decide which wines to taste, because you can’t try them all. I know you’re supposed to spit, but I didn’t.
And my pleasure had not yet come to a close. On the way out of town, on the recommendation of the Palisade police chief, whom I happened to meet in a traffic jam, I stopped at Ball Fruit, a seventh-generation orchard and all-around gratification center.
Bonnie Ball was waiting in the parking lot, holding peaches.
“Here,” she said, “taste these.” We ordered two giant boxes, but didn’t have the cash on hand. Oh, said Bonnie, just send a check later on. She kicked in apples and a free box of sauce tomatoes. It made me feel rich and pampered, and I wish I were there right now, eating one of those peaches, or three.
“It’s a different flavor because of the cold nights,” Bonnie said. “We send peaches all over the country – even Georgia. Their peaches are either sweet or blah. Ours are sweet and sharp. I’ve been working here for more than 50 years, and I still think our fruit is so abundant and beautiful that my greatest joy is giving it to people.”
And my greatest joy, especially after a mildly sweaty road ride, is to receive. Bring it on.
The details
Palisade is located 233 miles west of Denver on I-70. Take exit 42 to reach the Grande River Vineyards, and the start of the Tour of the Vineyards on Sept. 17 . For details on the ride, including fees, start time and route, go to emgcolorado.com or call 303-635-2815. The Colorado Mountain Winefest starts at 10:30 a.m. at Palisade River Park, half a mile from the race finish. For information, go to coloradowinefest.com, or call 800-704-3667. Ball Fruit is located at the corner of 38 and G roads in Palisade. Call 970-464-7059.
For rooms in and around Palisade, and they go fast, call the Grand Junction Visitor and Convention Bureau, at 800-962-2547 or visitgrandjunction.com.
