Dear Harriette: In your answer to Janice in New York, you wrote “… has witnessed my husband and I …” instead of “… has witnessed my husband and me.” I have noticed that even well-educated Americans do not bother to use personal pronouns correctly, and that the general public is dropping the use of adverbs and using adjectives instead.
Is it important to adhere to the established grammatical rules of the English language? Or is concern for grammatical correctness an affectation? Is reality simply that Americans are evolving a new language, with new rules that differ from British English, and in the future we will have: British-, American-, Australian-, Indian-, etc. English?
– Liliana, New York
Dear Harriette: I agree that parents should take time to teach their children basic manners, but shouldn’t they also set an example by using proper grammar too? In speaking of educating your daughter you wrote, “I’m grateful that she has witnessed my husband and I … behave in a respectful manner to one another.” Fear of “me” seems to become more pervasive with every passing year. Where in the world was your editor? By the way, I enjoy your columns.
– Glenn, Memphis, Tenn.
Dear Readers: To all of you who wrote in about this egregious error: Thank you for paying attention! I was absolutely horrified to discover this error in print. And I was also gratified to see that you care enough to point it out and to believe that I should know better.
For the record, I grew up in a home with a father who was a judge and a mother who was a retired kindergarten teacher. We were always instructed to use the English language properly. Indeed, it was never appropriate to speak in the vernacular if it meant that we would misuse English. I remember my father sending my sisters and me a page out of a grammar text about the use of the word “important.” As you probably know, people commonly say, “Most importantly,” but what’s correct is “Most important,” without the “ly.” He thought strongly enough about this point to educate us after we were grown and living on our own. One of the cardinal sins of speech to my parents would be to misuse pronouns as in the above-referenced “My husband and me. …” So, I assure you that the mistake that appeared in my column was made after I turned the column in to my editors. Someone else “corrected” my copy and made it wrong.
Mistakes happen, but I’m mentioning it now because I am thrilled that many of you care enough about the use of the English language to comment on it. I believe that it’s essential for all of us to learn to use this language with precision, creativity and accuracy. English is the international language of commerce and communication. Grammar matters. Thank you all for pointing that out!
Send your questions for Harriette Cole to askharriette@harriettecole.com.
