They exist in a strange purgatory, perched in first place, yet not delivered from punch lines.
The San Diego Padres are marching backward into history, threatening to become the first division winner with a losing record. They have been cast as stars in the “West Slide” story. Most of the attention they receive is unwanted and unflattering.
Never has being good felt so bad.
“Once you get into the playoffs, anything can happen,” insisted Padres outfielder Brian Giles, his team saddled with a 75-75 record. “I really believe we are not a .500 team.”
On Tuesday night, the Padres were not a competitive team, suffering a 20-1 beat-down that represented the most lopsided victory in Rockies history.
This game was to Padres pitchers what “Jaws” was to swimmers, filleted with distinctions, including Sean Burroughs’ first mound appearance since high school and Matt Holliday tying a Colorado record with eight RBIs.
“It’s great to be a part of these when you win,” said Holliday, hitting .307 with 17 home runs and 77 RBIs. “And it feels terrible when you are on the other end.”
For San Diego, it was easy to identify the moment the night went from forgettable to embarrassing.
With one out in the third inning, every Rockies starter having already collected a hit including pitcher Jamey Wright, Holliday stepped into the box against reliever Scott Cassidy. He clubbed a fastball with such authority that on impact it appeared it might leave the stadium.
The ball landed 442 feet away on the left-field concourse, bouncing off a closed concession stand. Had the grill been open, a patron could have had the proverbial gopher ball with an order of Rocky Mountain oysters.
“That was a bomb, like the ones that (Mark) McGwire and (Jose) Canseco used to hit,” bench coach Jamie Quirk said.
The majestic shot punctuated the ferocity of the Rockies’ flogging. After six batters, Colorado had scored more runs (five) than it did in a three- game home series last month against Washington.
After 13 hitters, Padres starter Woody Williams was mercifully pulled. His line was more suited for a spring training rehab start – three outs, nine runs – than a September playoff push. After three innings, the Rockies led 15-0.
“Not a lot to say,” Padres manager Bruce Bochy admitted. “We just got knocked out early.”
Bochy surrendered in the bottom of the fourth, emptying his bench with seven substitutes. The most amusing came in the eighth when Burroughs, once a 72-mph firing ace for a Long Beach Little League World Series team, entered as a reliever.
Burroughs’ fastball has picked up over the years – he topped out at 77 mph – but he couldn’t sneak a heater past Holliday. His three-run home run provided the final gong to the comedic madness.
“If I was loose I would have had a better release point,” Burroughs joked, “and I would have painted the corners.”
Staff writer Troy E. Renck can be reached at 303-820-5447 or trenck@denverpost.com.
