If there is a “most entertaining” month of the ski season, October is uniquely qualified.
Never mind that it’s also supremely qualified as the worst month of the ski season, the one that doesn’t really qualify as ski season at all, yet somehow remains coveted by those few high-country resorts capable of vying for the nonsensical title of the “first to open.” My hunch is the winner receives some sort of secret kickback from a national society of orthopedic surgeons as incentive.
Those of us who know better than to tempt fate by gliding down that white hospital ride are left to sit back and enjoy the show. Not so much the show on the slopes (the real Rocky Horror), but the parade of skiing and snowboarding films marching through theaters designed to make us salivate with anticipation of the season proper, and, of course, the most entertaining charade of them all – the annual magazine resort rankings.
Having worked at some point for nearly every major skiing and snowboarding magazine on the national market, I’m perpetually amazed by the fall phenomenon of the resort rankings.
Amazed not only by the rankings and the so-called system used to arrive at the results, but by the stock placed in them by the resorts themselves. Case in point: Deer Valley, Utah, which just this month was named the No. 1 ski resort in North America by the readers of Ski magazine. In celebration of the honor, the magazine sent me a press release, summarized here for your entertainment.
“We are thrilled to be placed in the good company of the top ski resorts, but to receive the No. 1 ranking out of 740 resorts in North America for the second time within a five-year period is spectacular,” said Bob Wheaton, Deer Valley Resort president and general manager. “We are truly humbled by this wonderful honor.”
Perhaps it’s my own learning disability kicking in here, but I for one am truly perplexed by this humble honor. I mean, let’s be realistic. Deer Valley doesn’t even qualify as the best ski resort in Park City, not to mention the rest of Utah. And by the way, snowboarders, your vote doesn’t count. You’re not allowed to go there.
The next three resorts in the Ski magazine rankings appear to be dictated by size (of the resort, not the ad they purchased), with Vail, Whistler Blackcomb and Snowmass represented before a return to Park City at No. 5 and a nod to Deer Valley’s Colorado counterpart at Beaver Creek in the seventh spot. Keep in mind that Alta, Utah, doesn’t warrant a mention until No. 29, one spot above the halfway mark in the top-60 rankings. And that doesn’t even include resorts in the East.
Now I understand that the Ski magazine rankings are based on a “reader survey,” and the mere 5,500 replies (out of more than 20,000 surveyed) are credited with determining the best skiing experience on the continent. But my question is, who are these people? And since when does reading a magazine qualify as expertise to determine what that very magazine calls “the finest the sport has to offer”? The short answer, I suppose, is 18 years, the length of time this sham has been published.
The longer answer, one provided by Kendall Hamilton regarding who these people are, is found in his “from the top” letter from the editor-in-chief. There he describes a wealthy 70-year-old by the name of G. Ogden Nutting, who runs a chain of 38 newspapers from his home state of West Virginia and has managed to visit nearly 500 ski areas in North America and South America since 1988.
Not to take anything away from Nutting’s admirable feat, but after averaging about 20 ski hills a year for more than a decade myself, I find the best seasons are those that don’t include West Virginia. Or, for that matter, Deer Valley. What they do include is a helicopter. And if you’ve got as much time and money as someone like Nutting apparently has to burn, I recommend using one.
But if you’re like me and most of the real skiers and snowboarders I know, you’ll wait for October to pass, watching restlessly as the sponsored pro riders use up last season’s heli time on the silver screen. You might pull a few extra hours on the EMT shift to earn enough for those new boards, or work nights on the snowmaking crew to score your season pass.
And when you get bored at work, pick up a ski mag to see what the people you’ve never met on the slopes like to talk about. If nothing else, I promise you’ll be entertained.
Staff writer Scott Willoughbycan be reached at 303-820-1993 or swilloughby@denverpost.com.
