Q: Dear Scott,
Something funny has happened recently in my quest for love online. I signed up for this online service a few months ago, and let’s just say it’s been interesting. I’ve gone out with a couple nice guys, but no real lasting relationship potential.
In the meanwhile, I met this other guy through a friend. We were immediately attracted, we went out a few times and then he just disappeared.
I can only assume he wasn’t feeling a connection with me and that’s why he stopped calling. Just this weekend, I opened my matches page on the online dating website and there he is.
The same guy that I met through my friend has been matched with me, profile, pictures and all. I have to admit, I got a good laugh out of it at the time, but now I don’t really know what, if anything, I should do. It’s the type of dating service that asks you to start communication with those you’ve been matched with or to close them out altogether.
Of course I’m not going to “start communication” with this guy, that would be silly after we’ve already dated. The thing is, I’m supposed to be going on vacation with a girlfriend and the same guy in a few weeks.
Weird, I know. I don’t expect to see him or talk to him until then. Should I just make light of it and maybe crack a joke about this when I see him? I don’t want our vacation to be awkward. Thanks for your advice.
– Online serendipity girl
SCOTT: I wanted to start singing “It’s a small world after all,” but since you can’t enjoy the pleasure of hearing it, I’ll save myself the trouble.
It is pretty strange that you went out with a guy who would later be selected as a “compatible” match for you on the Net. Were you really a match? Who knows? Not him. He went MIA.
Just because he was supposedly a “match” for you doesn’t mean he’s the only match for you.
I like your idea of making light of it all when you see him. It’ll help ease the tension and show that you’re over him and moved on. He, of course will give you some dumb lengthy excuse but you’ll coyly brush that off as well.
The best part of this whole thing is that you’re really not hung up on him at all. He’s not someone you want to be hung up on anyway. There are plenty of other guys out there for you but flakey jerks like this one have no place in your life.