Dear Amy: It seems as if more and more kids have food allergies these days, and I am curious about how other schools handle this situation.
One of my kids has a classmate with peanut allergies, and another is diabetic. The class has been told not to bring in anything peanut-related or sugary. For birthday treats, we are supposed to avoid cookies, brownies, etc. They’re also supposed to avoid peanuts at lunch.
Another child of mine has a classmate with a milk allergy and one with a peanut allergy. Students can basically only bring fruit and vegetables.
I am sympathetic to these children and their families, but wonder if this is the best course. It used to be easy to send food to school, and now it involves label reading – or figuring out what’s on the allowable list.
I don’t want to seem insensitive, but what about the rest of us? I think this all-or-nothing policy is not the answer.
– Allergy Anxious
Dear Anxious: I posted this question on proteacher.net. Teachers who responded emphasized the need to clarify these policies with your children’s teachers.
The peanut allergy is potentially very serious and any exposure to peanuts – even “peanut dust” in the air – can trigger a reaction. A diabetic child, however, will not become ill by sitting next to somebody eating food with sugar in it. A person with a dairy allergy won’t become ill if another child eats yogurt.
These food sensitivities, allergies and preferences (some children follow vegetarian, kosher, halal or other diets) present an opportunity for a classroom teacher – even of very young children – to teach about diversity. The lesson goes like this: “Just as we’re not all the same on the outside, our bodies aren’t the same on the inside. Some of us can’t eat certain kinds of foods for religious, cultural or medical reasons. This is why we need to respect other people’s food and their diets.”
Any child on a special diet needs to be educated by parents – with the teacher’s support – because that child will have to take responsibility out in the world. Children with food allergies and sensitivities should be sent to school with whatever food or treat they can consume, and if they eat one thing while other kids eat something else, that’s fine.
My experience in the classroom with young children is that they can be very effective at policing themselves and assisting one another.
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Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I disagree about something. Whenever we attend a social occasion where he knows many people and I know no one, he doesn’t think it’s his duty to introduce me to the people he’s talking to. He says it is awkward, unless he is having a long conversation with someone.
He says it is my job to find people to talk to and that I should introduce myself. He says maybe he just shouldn’t invite me to these occasions if it is going to be awkward for me.
– N
Dear N: Perhaps your boyfriend shouldn’t invite you – that way you won’t catch him being rude and inconsiderate.
Not only is it embarrassing for you to stand there, mutely, it is also embarrassing to others. He should introduce you.
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Dear Amy: This note is a response to the lady who was afraid of whom she might see at an Al-Anon meeting.
As a 12-year participant of Alcoholics Anonymous, I can assure her that if she sees anyone she knows at an Al-Anon meeting, he or she is there for the same reason.
I’ve met doctors, lawyers and all kinds of people held in high regard in their communities at meetings. Once a person gets inside “The Rooms,” there’s no race, social standing or any other obstacle. Everyone takes anonymity seriously.
– John
Dear John: Thank you for reinforcing this basic principal of AA and Al-Anon, which helps the loved ones of alcoholics.
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