Jamon is Spanish for ham.
Why, you may wonder, do you need to know this if you don’t already?
Because a lot of jamon gets sliced, diced, sabered and dished out in “The Legend of Zorro,” the sequel to 1998’s “The Mask of Zorro.”
Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones reunite as Don Alejandro de la Vega and his love, now wife, Elena.
With an easy, nearly screwball chemistry these two actors do a grand job of being not just the film’s stars but movie stars in a sparkly, old-fashioned way. (And really, what could be more of a Hollywood throwback than casting Welsh lovely Zeta-Jones as a Hispanic beauty?)
Almost all of the pleasures of this family-friendly adventure come from the fun Banderas and Zeta- Jones look to be having, brandishing swords and clutching in true backlot style. Which might be a fine outcome, if “Legend” didn’t post so many signs (about racism, religious hypocrisy, classism) that it wants to be as relevant as it is retro.
“Legend” begins in 1850. The citizens of the California territories are voting on a constitution. And evil is stomping its heavy, anti-democratic boots.
Bigoted robber baron McGivens (Nick Chinlund) spouts religious platitudes while bullying, even killing soon-to-be Mexican-American owners of property in the region. “Legend” opens with McGivens stealing ballot boxes.
If McGivens is the scarred mug of racial resentment, a shadowy society called the Knights of Aragon flexes the real muscle of oppression.
The people need a hero, and Fray Felipe (Julio Oscar Mechoso) tolls the bell for Zorro. Only Zorro is supposed to be hanging up the whip, the bolero and especially the mask for a sensible family life.
Then Alejandro breaks his word to Elena.
As their domestic bliss gets roughed up (divorce is how bad things turn between our heroes), Elena is forced into some intrigue of her own.
Rufus Sewell plays Armand, a smooth, ignoble land owner and Elena’s suitor.
You may recall that “The Mask of Zorro” starred Anthony Hopkins as Zorro and Banderas as his protege of humble origins. Gone is Hopkins’ father figure. The father-son dynamic has shifted: Now Alejandro must compete with his alter-ego for his young son’s respect.
When 10-year-old Joaquin compares his father to the the masked man, he finds Dad sorely lacking.
No doubt kids will get a kick out of a scene in which Joaquin delivers some Zorro-style justice to an overbearing priest in his history class.
While this subplot may make for a better parent-kid trip to the multiplex, it hasn’t produced a better movie.
It’s hardly sporting to slash at a movie that weaves cultural history with family values and heroic action. (There’s even a Confederate officer lurking in the background.)
Yet for all its cultural ambitions and the scenery devouring joys Banderas and Zeta- Jones serve, at two-plus hours, “Legend” feels long-winded.
One problem is Sewell is no match for Banderas, which makes Armand a dull foil for Zorro. We never believe in him, never doubt Elena’s affections. So why does Alejandro get so worked up?
Granted romps like “Legend” rely on the shared wink between the filmmakers and the audience. But having put so much at stake – a marriage, a constitution, the hopes of oppressed people – something should feel in mild danger. A scene in which a farmer and his family are attacked is interesting but lost in the rush to deliver more swordplay.
Swash gets buckled, Zs slashed, that much is true. Still, “Legend” doesn’t leave much of a mark.
Film critic Lisa Kennedy can be reached at 303-820-1567 or lkennedy@denverpost.com.
** 1/2 | “The Legend of Zorro”
PG for sequences of violence/peril and action, language and a couple of suggestive moments|2 hours, 8 minutes|SWORDPLAY|Directed by Martin Campbell; written by Robert Orci & Alex Kurtzman; photography by Phil Meheux; starring Antonio Banderas, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Rufus Sewell, Nick Chinlund, Adrian Alonso, Julio Oscar Mechoso|Opens today at area theaters
